Friday, August 24, 2012

Worries of a Mommy-To-Be of Two

I have seen a similar themed post on pretty much every blogger pregnant with baby #2's blog, which makes me feel like what I'm about to write about is totally normal.
newbornBraden
I have always known that I wanted more than one child. I just prayed that God would bless us with more children, and praise Him because here we are - almost 30 weeks pregnant with Baby #2. I've never wanted Braden to be a single child, but as we thought about when would be the "perfect" time to expand our family...there is no perfect time.We're at a point with Braden right now where there's no more diapers, he's more independent, he sleeps wonderfully and so do we, and life is pretty darn easy and a whole lotta fun. He's so so so much fun and we're loving this age...but in a couple of months we'll be starting all over again with a brand new baby. Don't get me wrong! We know what we signed up for and we're very happy about it...but it's just like with any major milestone in life, it never seems like there's a perfect time to take that leap of faith and change your life forever.
newbornBradenMommy
So what are some of my worries?
  • Guilt. Mega, mega guilt. What will Braden think when my attention almost fully goes to his brand new baby sister/brother? It's not all about him anymore.
  • Love. I know I will love Squishy. I already do, just how I loved Braden when I was pregnant with him. But how much love can my heart hold? The love I have for Braden as his mother...I can't even describe it - but I know you mommies out there know exactly what I'm talking about. How do you possibly love another baby as much as you love your first!? I know it's possible! I see it all the time with my family & friends, but before it actually happens to me...I just can't picture it all.
  • Time. How will I manage? I want to still do stuff with just Braden...but breastfeeding a new baby - how? I know that one day I'll be able to pump and Jay or whomever can give bottles...but certainly not in the beginning. We have this family of 3 thing NAILED! It's just so easy, so I know it will take time to adjust to being a family of 4.
  • Work. How will I go back to work? I know Jay will learn to be a father of two just as I learn to be a mother of two...but just taking care of one is so easy...how about two!? It will come, this I know...but it just seems so complicated to me right now.
  • Comparisons. Baby Squishy has some big "shoes" to fill. I will love this babe no matter if s/he is the most colicky baby on the face of the earth (PLEASE don't be!! haha)...but Baby Braden was phenomenal. He had his sleep regression, like most babies, but other than that he was and still is to this day such an amazing baby/toddler. How can I not compare my two babies?!...but at the same time I don't want to set "expectations" on a newborn...because really it's just silly and there's nothing you can do about it! But even still I can't help but wonder that because Braden was such a good baby...does that mean I'll "pay" for it this time?
I know these feelings are normal, and I'm actually, truly excited to be having another child and to make Braden a big brother. I know he'll love his baby sister/brother - I just know it. It's the kind of person that he is. But I'm just so in my comfort zone right now and change can be so scary. I'm not having anxiety attacks about this...it's not something that has me in a constant state of worry...but it's just things that have popped up in my brain from time to time.
newbornFamily
My new friend & sponsor Myndee at Fresh GraNOLA blog wrote this post on how she felt before she had her 2nd baby...and it has made me feel so much better. What are your experiences with having subsequent children?

In other news, I am 30 weeks pregnant today! 70 or so days to go. If you want to read back, here is my 30 week post from last time. Here's a mini-update for you:
    Happy dance!! Last shift!!
  • DONE WORK! In my last 30 week post I still had 8.5 weeks of work to go. I cannot imagine this time! CANNOT! Call me a princess, call me whatever you want, but I am blessed to not have to work anymore than past 30 weeks and I'm taking it. I don't know how my colleagues work full-time 12 hour day/night lines in the 3rd trimester with other children at home, you're heroines!
  • Sleep is juuuuuuust starting to get uncomfortable, definitely feels better to sleep with a pillow between my legs now to help with hip pain...and it feels like I have to "heave ho" to turn over with the belly now!
  • I can blame approximately 3 lbs of my pregnancy weight on the baby now!
  • Actually still feeling really good - I can still bend over Braden to put on his shoes! (Jay can't even do this without a 30 week belly! haha!)
  • My next appointment is the beginning of September and then I go to every 2 week appointments already! Unless it's raining I think Braden will have to come with me to my appointments, but that's okay.
  • Varicose veins. Gross. How unsightly. Sigh. I only got a few spider veins on my lateral left knee last time...this time I have one big varicose vein, but luckily it's well hidden...and plenty more spider veins to add to the collection.
  • I still get nauseous if I don't eat
  • I have had no desire to exercise...at all. Probably a lot due to the extreme heat we've had this summer, but in all honesty - who cares? Really... I'm just trying to enjoy this and relax if I can. My daily housework is a workout in itself anyway!
And I leave you with another funny!
Pregnant Problems #2
ECGSignature

11 comments:

  1. I think the thing with having a second is that YES, it is going to be hard and there will be a lot of times at first when you wonder why you ever did this in the first place! Hellloooo Mommy guilt :(

    BUT! It is absolutely 110% worth it. My boys are best friends. My oldest has learned so many life skills by being a brother and likewise it is really interesting to see my youngest emulating everything his brother does. There really is no better gift you can give your first than having a second :)

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    1. Yes, I always knew I'd never want just 1 (if it were up to us) so luckily we are pregnant again and I truly am more happy than anything to make Braden a big brother!

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  2. I hear ya with all of those. Trust me though - the love will not be an issue. The second that baby is in your arms your heart is going to explode with love. For me the struggle is remembering to show just as much love to the older one when you are so focused on this new little baby. Especially when said older one is not acting so great. Just remember when the time comes that he is adjusting just as you are & his world is upside down just like yours. But I am so looking forward to when they can interact. Luke is so sweet with him it makes my heart happy.

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    1. Yes, you said it perfectly - how to show the older sibling that they are just as loved!

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  3. I've been reading your blog for a while now despite being brand new at blogging myself. Braden seems very similar to my two yr old son both in personality and how many young kids they are surrounded by. My son just adores his new 2wk old baby brother. He constantly wants to hold him, kiss him and even does a big part of diaper changing, which is my favorite. I think he made the adjustment so well because he had practice with babies beforehand and we still play with him and give him as much attention as before...our new one is very low maintenance and very calm, just like our first was.

    I hope the transition goes smoothly for you like it did for us. Good luck!

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    1. Well thanks so much for your comment! Sounds like we have similar family situations - glad to hear the good news and congrats on the birth of your new baby!

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  4. You look great!!! I felt HUGE when I was pregnant. Thanks for this post. I think just about every mommy has those same feelings. I know I did, even with Little Miss was only a few days old!

    Have a blessed weekend!

    Come by and visit:
    Hurley Love

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  5. A second thought: I actually enjoy comparing my boys because it helps me remember what my first was like at that size. For me it's fun to compare because of that but all moms are different about that.

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  6. Don't worry sorry we all go through this and have similar feelings.. I remember worrying when I was pregnant with Zane, how I would possibly feel the same love and guess what, I did! It just falls into place. You have enough love to give and they will be so close in age, that will be so cute to watch them grow up! Also going from 1-2 was a breeze from going from 0-1

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    1. It's nice to know I'm in good company. I've also heard from more than one person it's easier to go from 1-2 than 0-1!

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