Big Brother Braden

I mentioned in my post partum update that going from 1 to 2 children was a lot easier than going from 0 to 1 child. The taking care of a newborn thing, has honestly been a breeze. I know what to expect out of a newborn - is it going to be easy all the time even though I've done it before? Heck no. I don't deny that a minute. I'm sure as soon as his 3 week growth spurt comes I'll want to pull out my hair all over again.

We love when Poppy visits! Braden painting for the first time.

The harder part...has been taking care of Braden. Don't get me wrong, he really hasn't changed that much - truly. He has adjusted SO well. But I find for some unexplained reason (other than sleep deprivation), that my fuse for him is way shorter than it ever has been and it makes me feel absolutely awful and guilty all at the same time. He deserves the same love and attention that Ethan gets...but it's just not possible right now.

Braden has shown absolutely no signs of jealousy towards Ethan. He loves him, he looks for "Baby Efan" every morning and wants to "cawwy him, pwease" a few times a day. But I think it's only natural he must be feeling a bit neglected, especially since we used to spend almost every waking minute together, or in each other's presence, especially through harvest. I do make a point of playing trains, coloring, reading books - playing with him - every day. I have also participated in every single bedtime routine for him one way or another since Ethan was born, which has been really special to me too.

Regression? Absolutely. I knew it would happen, but it's hard to say if it's 100% Ethan or just his norm. Braden has had poop regressions many times in our potty training journey. I still firmly stand that potty training is very phasey and cyclical too, for us anyway. Right now he's in the middle, or hopefully end, of having poop issues. He keeps having little accidents, but we know he's capable of going all by himself too. Like I said, this has happened before, so I don't know if it's all Ethan-related.

He's actually been sleeping better than normal. The first week we had Ethan home he slept in pretty much every day, so sleeping 13 hour nights again from about 7PM-8AM. It was awesome! He even slept until 8:50AM one morning! Just the other night he wet the bed in the middle of the night for the very first time. He did have a LOT to drink that evening and I even told him "no more to drink, buddy or you'll have an accident in bed!" Mama knows best, I guess!

We made cookies together last week!

He's definitely been a little bit more whiney and needy lately. BUT, since the snow fell, I can tell he's getting cabin fever way faster than he used to. Jay tries to take him at least over to the farm every other day, but it just doesn't seem to be helping yet! I'm hoping to schedule lots of coffee/play dates with friends with kids Braden's age.

All in all, Braden has done really well. I'm very proud of him and just keep praying for compassion towards him and that God will bless me with patience and kindness towards my eldest!

How did your older child(ren) adjust to a new baby in your home? How long did it take for things to "normalize"?

Worries of a Mommy-To-Be of Two

I have seen a similar themed post on pretty much every blogger pregnant with baby #2's blog, which makes me feel like what I'm about to write about is totally normal.

I have always known that I wanted more than one child. I just prayed that God would bless us with more children, and praise Him because here we are - almost 30 weeks pregnant with Baby #2. I've never wanted Braden to be a single child, but as we thought about when would be the "perfect" time to expand our family...there is no perfect time.We're at a point with Braden right now where there's no more diapers, he's more independent, he sleeps wonderfully and so do we, and life is pretty darn easy and a whole lotta fun. He's so so so much fun and we're loving this age...but in a couple of months we'll be starting all over again with a brand new baby. Don't get me wrong! We know what we signed up for and we're very happy about it...but it's just like with any major milestone in life, it never seems like there's a perfect time to take that leap of faith and change your life forever.

So what are some of my worries?

• Guilt. Mega, mega guilt. What will Braden think when my attention almost fully goes to his brand new baby sister/brother? It's not all about him anymore.
• Love. I know I will love Squishy. I already do, just how I loved Braden when I was pregnant with him. But how much love can my heart hold? The love I have for Braden as his mother...I can't even describe it - but I know you mommies out there know exactly what I'm talking about. How do you possibly love another baby as much as you love your first!? I know it's possible! I see it all the time with my family & friends, but before it actually happens to me...I just can't picture it all.
• Time. How will I manage? I want to still do stuff with just Braden...but breastfeeding a new baby - how? I know that one day I'll be able to pump and Jay or whomever can give bottles...but certainly not in the beginning. We have this family of 3 thing NAILED! It's just so easy, so I know it will take time to adjust to being a family of 4.
• Work. How will I go back to work? I know Jay will learn to be a father of two just as I learn to be a mother of two...but just taking care of one is so easy...how about two!? It will come, this I know...but it just seems so complicated to me right now.
• Comparisons. Baby Squishy has some big "shoes" to fill. I will love this babe no matter if s/he is the most colicky baby on the face of the earth (PLEASE don't be!! haha)...but Baby Braden was phenomenal. He had his sleep regression, like most babies, but other than that he was and still is to this day such an amazing baby/toddler. How can I not compare my two babies?!...but at the same time I don't want to set "expectations" on a newborn...because really it's just silly and there's nothing you can do about it! But even still I can't help but wonder that because Braden was such a good baby...does that mean I'll "pay" for it this time?

I know these feelings are normal, and I'm actually, truly excited to be having another child and to make Braden a big brother. I know he'll love his baby sister/brother - I just know it. It's the kind of person that he is. But I'm just so in my comfort zone right now and change can be so scary. I'm not having anxiety attacks about this...it's not something that has me in a constant state of worry...but it's just things that have popped up in my brain from time to time.

My new friend & sponsor Myndee at Fresh GraNOLA blog wrote this post on how she felt before she had her 2nd baby...and it has made me feel so much better. What are your experiences with having subsequent children?

In other news, I am 30 weeks pregnant today! 70 or so days to go. If you want to read back, here is my 30 week post from last time. Here's a mini-update for you:

• DONE WORK! In my last 30 week post I still had 8.5 weeks of work to go. I cannot imagine this time! CANNOT! Call me a princess, call me whatever you want, but I am blessed to not have to work anymore than past 30 weeks and I'm taking it. I don't know how my colleagues work full-time 12 hour day/night lines in the 3rd trimester with other children at home, you're heroines!
• Sleep is juuuuuuust starting to get uncomfortable, definitely feels better to sleep with a pillow between my legs now to help with hip pain...and it feels like I have to "heave ho" to turn over with the belly now!
• I can blame approximately 3 lbs of my pregnancy weight on the baby now!
• Actually still feeling really good - I can still bend over Braden to put on his shoes! (Jay can't even do this without a 30 week belly! haha!)
• My next appointment is the beginning of September and then I go to every 2 week appointments already! Unless it's raining I think Braden will have to come with me to my appointments, but that's okay.
• Varicose veins. Gross. How unsightly. Sigh. I only got a few spider veins on my lateral left knee last time...this time I have one big varicose vein, but luckily it's well hidden...and plenty more spider veins to add to the collection.
• I still get nauseous if I don't eat
• I have had no desire to exercise...at all. Probably a lot due to the extreme heat we've had this summer, but in all honesty - who cares? Really... I'm just trying to enjoy this and relax if I can. My daily housework is a workout in itself anyway!

And I leave you with another funny!