Messy Motherhood: Loving Yourself

Loving yourself. It's a hard thing to do. You change as a person throughout your life. It's inevitable.

You change when you say "I do". You're no longer your #1, only caring about and for yourself...you open your life and your heart to your husband. There's now another person to consider in all the choices you make in life.

Then you have your first baby. If you didn't change too much when you became a wife...you're bound to change in leaps and bounds when you become a mommy for the first time. It's life-changing. You can no longer do whatever it is you please at any given moment. There's a precious blessing who relies solely on you to live.

I love being a mommy, but it was definitely a transition that I had to make. I couldn't run out and go shopping whenever I wanted or go out with my girlfriends or even go out on a date with my husband. You're at home more in  your life than you ever were before, at least I was. It's not as easy to just run out the door and meet your friends for coffee. You have to wait because the baby is the boss of the house now, literally!

Then, I got used to being a mommy of 1 and spreading my time and my love for myself, my husband, and my child in good sized portions...and then we welcomed baby #2. I wondered how my heart could love another child as much as it loved my first, which was so so SO much. But it does.

I can't even begin to quote who said this or something similar, but I've always firmly believed that if you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone else...and certainly no one else is going to love you back! My husband loves me unconditionally, he has told me many times...but I imagine for him it would be harder to love me if I didn't love myself.

I think it is so important for me as a wife and mother to still recognize that I am Sarah. I'm not a single, childless girl anymore...but I am still me in there. I've just had to mold myself and change over the years. It's so important for me to still have girl's nights and coffee dates and "me" time. Even if my me time right now is limited to a bubble bath and a glass of Moscato - I'll take it!

There's an old saying that "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" and for me...that's certainly true! I radiate my feelings. If I'm not happy then I radiate that to my husband and my children, and they don't deserve it, which is why it's so important for me to remember to love myself.

We love because he first loved us. -- 1 John 4:19

Do everything in love. -- 1 Corinthians 16:14

Parenting: Don't Knock It 'Til You Try It

Do not judge a parent until you've walked, or are currently walking, in their shoes. Seriously.

It's probably pretty safe to say that we've all judged how someone parents. I sure as heck did when Jay's sisters and my friends started having kids before we did. I made mental notes of things I definitely did and did not want to do when we had kids. Did I follow through with all of my mental notes? Nope! But I did follow through with a lot of my parenting goals...and have learned the valuable lesson that...

YOU TRULY CANNOT JUDGE UNTIL YOU ARE THERE.

In a discussion on Twitter this week, one of the (single, childless) girls that both Jay and I follow tweeted "When my (future) kids ask for an ipad for Christmas, they'll be seeing an angry bird alright!" I'm not "calling her out" so to speak, it just sparked the idea for this blog post!

The reason for this post? Because the iPad in this house...is a sanity saver. I should reword that to: the iPad in this vehicle is a sanity saver. Braden....talks non-stop. NON-STOP. Especially in the closed quarters of a vehicle. Honestly, judge if you want, but if we don't let him play with the iPad on a road trip, we both want to stop the vehicle and see if anyone wants to adopt him. We love that boy to bits, every single part of him, and we LOVE that he can communicate so well. But on an 8 hour road trip (heck, even a 1 hour road trip to the city), it gets to be a lot.

It would be different if it was a video game. A mindless video game pushing buttons while he blankly stares at the screen. The iPad, is not just a game. Sure, he plays games...but most of the games we have for him are educational and he truly is learning a lot.

Here are some of my favorite apps for Braden:

• Music Color - helps him identify colors, objects, animals, while playing music
• Fisher Price - all of them. They've helped him learn animals & body parts
• Elmo Loves ABCs - self-explanitory

He has also learned to do puzzles and search for things with his Thomas & Friends and Bob The Builder apps. He's learned songs, he can recognize letters and he is even able to start tracing letters int he Elmo app.

Another thing, it's not his iPad and he doesn't have free range of it by any means.

For us, we feel that if the iPad or watching TV or movies ever takes priority for him vs. actual play or going outside...then we will have a potential problem and truly have to limit those things for him. But, like most things in life, moderation is key.

Another example is that I fully intended on keeping Braden (and will try with Ethan) rear-facing in the car seat for 2 years. I made it to 15 months with Braden, could not take his constant screaming/crying on road trips, turned him around on a trip to Walmart one morning, and have never looked back since (pun intended). Sometimes you need these sanity savers!

How do you feel about your kids and iPads? Do they use yours?

My Mommy Confessions

Or, Momfessions, if you will! I haven't been in a good blogging funk lately. I go through phases where I could literally write 2 posts a day...and times when I can't think of a darn thing to say...like now. This is when it's good to participate in blog hops with themed posts! I realize these are supposed to be confessions about being a mommy....like related soley to my children...but I'm a mommy and even if these aren't 100% about being a mother, here they are:

• You know that saying out there that it's okay to have dirty dishes in the sink and crumbs on your floor because it's more important to be with your kids, or something along with those lines? Well....that may be true for some, but not me! I cannot STAND having my house dirty or especially clutter about. I cannot relax and enjoy my kids if my house is dirty. It doesn't take that long to clean, really!
• I could have 2 or 3 baths a day in this cold weather (not because I smell, contrary to what my husband teases me about)
• Children should not be allowed to wake up before 8:00 AM, I'll even settle for 7:30 I am NOT a morning person, I never will be I figure
• I have always been a 1 cup of coffee in the morning kinda gal, but I've been craving an afternoon cup sometimes
• I do like a clean house, but I'm awful at cleaning the bathroom. It gets cleaned, of course...but I hate doing it. I've cleaned it 3 times since Ethan came home...and he's 7 weeks old today
• The cold, dreary weather makes me happy. Yup, happy. It makes me feel like I have the right to stay in my warm, cozy home and sip coffee and bake and snuggle with my boys
• I had a dream about my dad the other night...that I got to hug him, tell him he looked good and hoped he was doing well. That's the only part of the dream I remember and it makes me happy and hopeful that one day I might be able to hug him again
• I'm not really getting Ethan anything for Christmas, just a personalized lovie blankie from Etsy!
• On the other hand, I got Braden WAY too much for Christmas...good thing his birthday is a month after and I can divide the presents between the two!
• My baby slept for over 7 hours the other night and I will not be made to feel bad about it, I'm celebrating. It may not happen again for awhile!
• I love being at home as a mommy more than I ever thought I would. I will definitely go back to work, but I can see myself working less while my kids are young
• I love Essie nail polish, I may or may not pick out a new color anytime I get a chance to go shopping (which isn't that often, don't worry)
• I love Duck Dynasty. Like, love it.
• Moscato is gooooo-oood! I drink a bottle to myself probably every 2 weeks.
• I am 17 lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight (gained 38 lbs)...and this blows my mind! I do not feel 17 lbs heavier, nor do I think I look it...this is the same weight I was when I was 22 weeks pregnant - crazy!
• I feel so much less stressed than I did last Christmas. I've learned to control what I can and cannot handle during the holidays. Until I go on Pinterest...which is why I don't
• Speaking of that, I'm not doing a gingerbread house, I refuse until my kids specifically ask to do it or Poppy does it with them, hehe
• I love being the mommy to 2 boys, especially that they have boy cousins their age!
• I started the Advent Bible study with #SheReadsTruth and I've been missing it from my life the last couple of months, I need His Word in my daily life again

I know all my confessions aren't that shocking...and not all to do with being a mommy, but they are what they are. Do you have confessions this week? Link up with Growing Up Geeky.

Don't Listen to Your Mother, Braden

My darling, sweet boy...don't listen to your mother...

• If you can't dress yourself yet
• If you can't always make it to the potty in time
• If you don't always want to eat all of your food
• If you don't want to stay at the dinner table
• If you want 3 different snacks and only nibble at them all
• If you're not always as quiet as she wants you to be
• If you make a mess of your room

And you know why? Because you're only 2. Almost 3, but still only 2. It's okay, because:

• You can put your underwear and pants on all by yourself 80% of the time
• You rarely have an accident and if you do, it's only a dribble
• You are right on par with most 2 year olds who don't always want to eat everything
• You do eventually eat all that Mommy & Daddy want you to, even if it takes a few extra reminders!
• You are an indecisive boy with your snacks
• You are a BOY and boy are allowed to be noisy!
• You always clean up your room when we ask you too

Don't grow up too fast, sweet boy...even if Mommy acts like you should, she doesn't believe it for one second. Mommy saw you grow up over night when she brought your baby brother home...but it doesn't mean that you are grown up. You still need help too, so please be patient while Mommy has to remind herself of this daily. In the meantime...just don't always listen to your mother!

My Name is Sarah and I LOVE Newborns!

I've never been a person to "ooooh" and "ahhhh" over babies. Other than my own, of course. Even with my nieces and nephews - I'm so excited to have more babies in the family, but I've never been a newborn lover. Some people just gravitate towards a newborn and love all the snuggles and cuddles...I never have.

I typically enjoy from about 3 months on with other people's babies. They coo, smile, even laugh and become more interactive...not just sleep and do nothing like a newborn. Braden was so much fun from 6 months on, I always figured I wasn't a "newborn" lover, even my own babies. Until...

Ethan. Don't get me wrong...I loved Braden to bits as a baby. He was a great newborn...it's just that I can't remember it! Nothing in the world can prepare you for having a newborn. I read and hear of women whose babies sleep through the night from day 1 and they never look back...but that, my friends, is very rare and I tend not to believe it myself!

But yes - I just wasn't prepared to have a newborn the first time around. Getting up every 1-3 hours for weeks to feed the baby, changing diapers that often as well, trying to maintain your household, cooking...it was very overwhelming. And like I said - Braden was a great baby. Not high-demanding, very content and calm...but just still stressful as you're learning to take care of a BABY for the first time. Even as a nurse with a pediatric background, it was still scary because I had to keep and care for this baby all the time!

But my second time around? I am truly loving on this newborn boy. I'm trying to savor every moment with him...

Smelling his head as he nuzzles in my shoulder in his milk-drunk state.
Watching him when he nurses.
The little expressions on his face when he first falls asleep.
The way he tolerates yet does not quite enjoy his baths now.
How he loves to sleep on his sides with his arms out, just like his big brother did.

Sigh. He's already 3.5 weeks old and this phase does not last long. I know lots of people will away the newborn phase, but I don't want it to end.

But it must.

It's just so much less stressful this time as I mentioned in my post-partum update post. Lots of my recently new moms-of-2 have told me that exact thing and I didn't see how it was possible until it happened to me. The newborn thing - I got that! It's so much more enjoyable. I knew to expect to be getting up with baby every few hours in the night. I was prepared for broken up sleep and to be in a semi-zombie like Newborn Mom state. I haven't found myself getting frustrated with Ethan at all. I would question Braden so often wondering WHY he was still hungry? WHY won't you burp? But this time, I'm just rolling with the punches. So what if Ethan puked on 3 sleepers in one hour? We'll just keep changing him and doing laundry! No big deal...I got this!

I don't think I ever added this in a blog post, but my baby boy was 2 lbs over his discharge weight at his 2 week appointment last week! He was 6 lbs 5 oz at birth, dropped down to 5 lbs 15 oz on discharge, and was 7 lbs 15 oz! He's definitely still newborn size, but he's already outgrown a sleeper! He's growing so fast and just thriving. I'm so very blessed.

I really make a point of praying for both my boys every day, especially at night when they go to sleep. I thank God for these blessings. For making me a boy mom because He knows exactly what I need and what I can handle. I pray that He keeps my boys safe and healthy and happy and that they will grow up knowing Him and loving Him. I thank God for my husband who is a wonderful father to our children and for his grandparents who love our boys like they are their only 2 grandkids, even though they have 10! And for my Mom who would do anything for my boys and has shown that time and time again. Aaaand...I might throw in a prayer that we'll have a good stretch of sleep too! ;)

Moms of 2+...did you find the newborn stage easier the 2nd, 3rd, etc. time around? Do you like the newborn stage?

Sorry to be a broken record, but please please vote for all 3 of my pictures! Cash prize for the winner of each category!

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That Time I Spanked My Son

It's not a moment I'm proud of. I'm not here to start another Mommy War. I'm here, as always, to share my story and my thoughts and feelings that go with it.


That little sweetheart up there, my Braden, is now 2 years and 1 week shy of 8 months old. His listening skills have improved vastly, even over the last few months. He'll often grab my hand as he is getting out of my truck and says "hold hands in parkin' wot!"

But sometimes, toddlers are just toddlers and they can't be perfect. On our travels today we stopped to have a potty break and then were going to get a smoothie and continue on. We were on our way out of the restaurant, I opened the door for Braden, and as I was opening, I reminded him "okay, hold Mommy's hand!" And he took off.

One warning: "BRADEN! Hold Mommy's hand please!"

Two warnings: "BRADEN! Do NOT run!"

No time for 3 warnings as he's just about to the end of the sidewalk and about to sprint into the parking lot...I gave my 34 week pregnant body all it had to give and ran to him as he was about 3 steps into the parking lot.
Then...it happened. I reached out, grabbed his left arm with my left hand as my right hand swung to spank his itty bitty bum in his camouflage shorts.

I didn't hit him hard, I startled him more than anything...but then the lip came out. That little bottom lip jutted out in all it's pink moist poutiness and broke my heart.
It hurts my heart to say that I "hit" my child...but I did. I didn't know what else to do. The yelling/scolding didn't work. He kept running. It was a parking lot...with big moving vehicles that could hurt him!

A little background info...I am not a believer of spanking. I've given him little "one finger" smacks on the bum before to reiterate something I'm trying to say...but never have actually spanked him.

I'm not here to judge you if you spank, obviously I believe there's a time and a place for it, and I felt I had no other choice today. I needed something that would hopefully reiterate how SERIOUS Mommy was, because my Big Booming Mommy voice (and believe me, it is big) was not working.

I then quietly walked him the rest of the way to our truck, I gently picked him up, had him sit on my bump, and we hugged as he whimpered.

I had my first heart-to-heart with my son. I looked him in his bright blue eyes and said "I'm sorry I hurt your bum, Braden...but Mommy was VERY scared. You have to LISTEN to Mommy or you could get hurt. Mommy doesn't want you to get hurt. I love you."

"Sowwy, Mommy."

"Thanks, buddy. Are you okay? I love you."

"I okay, Mommy."

We got our smoothies and hit the road. In no time were back to laughing, giggling, listening to The Lorax, and looking for trains and loaders and diggers like we always do. But I'll still never forget what I did today. Sigh.

Did I break your heart a little bit too? I'm suffering a big case of Mega Mommy Guilt. But I didn't know what else to do...??? I got a ton of support from a lot of you on Twitter today and I thank you so much for that. You made me feel loved and said that you had done it too, not that you liked it either, but that you felt the circumstance was "dire" enough that it warranted a spank.
I hate myself a little bit for it. I don't ever want to have to do it again.

Have you ever had a similar situation? I've already said a prayer that we will both learn from this situation and that I'll never have to do it again.

Discipline Your Children, God Wants You To!

Now what better reason could I give you than "God wants you to"!? On Wednesday I finished my 3rd bible study with the #SheReadsTruth community. I read the whole book of Proverbs, all 31 chapters - one chapter a day. I have learned more than a few valuable lessons from Proverbs, and yet again I find it changing me to my core, and I hope to re-read my journal and just let it sink in over and over again.

I have said it before, and I'll say it again - one of the things that scares the daylights out of me is raising Christian children. Maybe other Christian families don't give it another thought and just go about their ways raising their little believers...but for me, I've thought long and hard about it since I was pregnant with Braden. I think God was speaking to both me and Jay, when Braden was 6 months old, 1 week before we had him dedicated, He said we needed to dedicate ourselves to Him again. Jay was called to be baptized and I reaffirmed my faith, as I was baptized as an infant. Raising a child seems like a lot of pressure, but Proverbs has eased my anxieties and I think we're doing a pretty good job raising Braden. I want to share with you some of my favorite scriptures on parenting:

That one, right there...my favorite on parenting. It affirmed everything that I have been doing with Braden and I'm happy that I'm doing the right thing. My study bible goes on to say:

The greatest responsibility that God gives parents is the nurture and guidance of their children. Lack of discipline shows lack of concern for their character development. Without correction, children don't know right from wrong and don't have direction. Do not be afraid to discipline your children. It is an act of love. Encourage your children to seek God's wisdom above all else! The wisdom they learn must be taught - they don't just absorb it.

Can I get a "hallelujah"?! I am SUCH a firm believer that children do need our guidance. If we let our kids run the household...how will they ever learn? How will they ever fit in a structured environment like school and eventually work? I'm not Super Strict Mom, but I definitely have expectations of my 2.5 year old, and they started long before he was this age. And? He's turning out to be a very polite and well-mannered little boy. At the end of the day...he's still 2. He's still a toddler and there's no way I can expect perfection, but every week I see improvements in his listening and following direction. If he doesn't clean up his toys? I take them away for a day or two, I've only had to do this twice. If he doesn't listen after a few times of me asking, he gets a 2 minute time out and knows to say "sorry, Mommy" after and then we hug it out. He even has daily chores, which he loves doing.

I do not see chores as punishment, as some do, I believe they teach value and respecting property. Who liked chores growing up? Not me! But I dusted, I vacuumed, I cleaned up my room (this may have gone went wayward as a teenager, a bit!) but now? I appreciate those lessons my mom taught me and my grandma taught her. Now as an adult and the motherly head of my own household? I cherish and value my CLEAN home more than ever, and I have my mom to thank for that.

I also think it's extremely important, for my family, to have our kids sit through church service. At least for the first half when we are singing & praying before the sermon starts. This is discipline. This is structure. Is Braden perfect all the time? Heck no. I've had to leave church all together with him twice this year because he was an overtired mess who wasn't happy in the sanctuary or the play room and just wanted to run around like a Crazy Toddler while the pastor was preaching. BUT, we are trying to set the foundation for him.

Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death. (NIV)

Discipline your children while you still have a chance; indulging them destroys them. (MSG)

Proverbs 19:18

Point your kids in the right direction - when they're old they won't be lost!

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

 -- Proverbs 22:6

Parents should discern the individuality and special strengths God gives each one. We can better discern and develop the individual capabilities of each child by talking to others. Teach your children how to make decisions - then you don't have to watch every step they take. We then will know they will remain on the right path because they made the choice themselves - train them to choose the right way. [source]

I know there isn't a manual that comes with each individual child when they're born (though, how awesome would that be!?), but it's nice to have the Word to rely on and affirm to me that we're doing right by Braden...so far!

Sweet Mommy/Son Moment

So the other day when we spent the rainy day at the mall as a family...Braden had been up since 5AM. I don't know why. It's one of those unexplainable toddlerisms. We didn't get him out of bed until 6, and so I thought...since it's raining and Jay can't work, let's go to the mall and have a family day. But we had to wait 4 hours for the mall to open! (You know you got up early when....!)

We had a good time at the mall, this was the first trip in a long time we hadn't used his monkey harness/leash, and he did really well. We told him we'd get him a toy if he was a good boy and listened to mommy and daddy...and he did! I had got him some new Thomas shoes from Walmart, but they kept slipping off so that was our first purchase - new shoes for Braden. As silly as it might sound, that moment was really special to me and one I'll never forget. It felt like "back to school" shopping. Braden picked out his shoes. He chose Elmo over Cookie Monster, much to my surprise, and we had to make sure they were daddy-friendly. He walked up and down the aisle testing out his new kicks and assured us they didn't feel "yucky". They stayed on his feet, so we bought them and off we went.

In true Braden car-seat-napping fashion, he didn't fall asleep until we were about 10 minutes away from home. He's never transferred well from car seat to crib/bed and since it was cool enough, we just left him in the car seat, in the garage with a door open and the door to the house open so we could hear him when he woke up. About 45 minutes later I heard him cough, so off I went to get him. All he said was "Mommy, carry me." So I did. I carried him over to the couch where Daddy was resting, and Braden curled his torso around my belly and laid his head on my shoulder. Before too long, he fell asleep. And not long after that..I fell asleep too. Braden hasn't napped on me since he was about 3 months old...I'm not even joking. He's never been a snuggly or cuddly baby or toddler...so I cherished that little nap we had together on the couch. He's not been the kind of toddler, either, who if he does get up at 5AM will snuggle in bed with us until a decent hour...nope!

He's definitely been more sucky lately, and I'm loving it. I don't know if he senses his clock of only childness is running out the nearer we get to the end of this pregnancy, or what...but I'm not complaining!

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On a completely unrelated note...do you read this blog but are not a "member"? If so...I could really use your help! I'm looking to grow my readership so that I can get some good relationships going with some companies this fall/winter! To get working with these companies, they like to see big(ger) numbers...so I figure who better than to reach out than to my current readers!?

It's really simple! On the sidebar on the right, click "Join this site with Google Friend Connect". You can connect with a Google account, Blogger account, Twitter account, and there's a couple of other options. It's easy and fast and would help me out a lot! Thank you in advance!

Worries of a Mommy-To-Be of Two

I have seen a similar themed post on pretty much every blogger pregnant with baby #2's blog, which makes me feel like what I'm about to write about is totally normal.

I have always known that I wanted more than one child. I just prayed that God would bless us with more children, and praise Him because here we are - almost 30 weeks pregnant with Baby #2. I've never wanted Braden to be a single child, but as we thought about when would be the "perfect" time to expand our family...there is no perfect time.We're at a point with Braden right now where there's no more diapers, he's more independent, he sleeps wonderfully and so do we, and life is pretty darn easy and a whole lotta fun. He's so so so much fun and we're loving this age...but in a couple of months we'll be starting all over again with a brand new baby. Don't get me wrong! We know what we signed up for and we're very happy about it...but it's just like with any major milestone in life, it never seems like there's a perfect time to take that leap of faith and change your life forever.

So what are some of my worries?

• Guilt. Mega, mega guilt. What will Braden think when my attention almost fully goes to his brand new baby sister/brother? It's not all about him anymore.
• Love. I know I will love Squishy. I already do, just how I loved Braden when I was pregnant with him. But how much love can my heart hold? The love I have for Braden as his mother...I can't even describe it - but I know you mommies out there know exactly what I'm talking about. How do you possibly love another baby as much as you love your first!? I know it's possible! I see it all the time with my family & friends, but before it actually happens to me...I just can't picture it all.
• Time. How will I manage? I want to still do stuff with just Braden...but breastfeeding a new baby - how? I know that one day I'll be able to pump and Jay or whomever can give bottles...but certainly not in the beginning. We have this family of 3 thing NAILED! It's just so easy, so I know it will take time to adjust to being a family of 4.
• Work. How will I go back to work? I know Jay will learn to be a father of two just as I learn to be a mother of two...but just taking care of one is so easy...how about two!? It will come, this I know...but it just seems so complicated to me right now.
• Comparisons. Baby Squishy has some big "shoes" to fill. I will love this babe no matter if s/he is the most colicky baby on the face of the earth (PLEASE don't be!! haha)...but Baby Braden was phenomenal. He had his sleep regression, like most babies, but other than that he was and still is to this day such an amazing baby/toddler. How can I not compare my two babies?!...but at the same time I don't want to set "expectations" on a newborn...because really it's just silly and there's nothing you can do about it! But even still I can't help but wonder that because Braden was such a good baby...does that mean I'll "pay" for it this time?

I know these feelings are normal, and I'm actually, truly excited to be having another child and to make Braden a big brother. I know he'll love his baby sister/brother - I just know it. It's the kind of person that he is. But I'm just so in my comfort zone right now and change can be so scary. I'm not having anxiety attacks about this...it's not something that has me in a constant state of worry...but it's just things that have popped up in my brain from time to time.

My new friend & sponsor Myndee at Fresh GraNOLA blog wrote this post on how she felt before she had her 2nd baby...and it has made me feel so much better. What are your experiences with having subsequent children?

In other news, I am 30 weeks pregnant today! 70 or so days to go. If you want to read back, here is my 30 week post from last time. Here's a mini-update for you:

• DONE WORK! In my last 30 week post I still had 8.5 weeks of work to go. I cannot imagine this time! CANNOT! Call me a princess, call me whatever you want, but I am blessed to not have to work anymore than past 30 weeks and I'm taking it. I don't know how my colleagues work full-time 12 hour day/night lines in the 3rd trimester with other children at home, you're heroines!
• Sleep is juuuuuuust starting to get uncomfortable, definitely feels better to sleep with a pillow between my legs now to help with hip pain...and it feels like I have to "heave ho" to turn over with the belly now!
• I can blame approximately 3 lbs of my pregnancy weight on the baby now!
• Actually still feeling really good - I can still bend over Braden to put on his shoes! (Jay can't even do this without a 30 week belly! haha!)
• My next appointment is the beginning of September and then I go to every 2 week appointments already! Unless it's raining I think Braden will have to come with me to my appointments, but that's okay.
• Varicose veins. Gross. How unsightly. Sigh. I only got a few spider veins on my lateral left knee last time...this time I have one big varicose vein, but luckily it's well hidden...and plenty more spider veins to add to the collection.
• I still get nauseous if I don't eat
• I have had no desire to exercise...at all. Probably a lot due to the extreme heat we've had this summer, but in all honesty - who cares? Really... I'm just trying to enjoy this and relax if I can. My daily housework is a workout in itself anyway!

And I leave you with another funny!

The Time For Daddy To Shine!

I have had many a moments in my life as a mother where I've had Daddy Envy. Up at all hours of the night, nursing a brand new baby for like 45 minutes at a time, & so tired you can't remember if you've changed the diaper already...I often wondered why I had to be pregnant and deliver this baby and now I get to be sleepless and feed this baby all the time too? Countless outfit changes for mommy and baby alike because of spit ups and poo explosions, all while Daddy gets to sleep soundly and leave whenever he wants. Off to work he goes. Off to hockey he goes. And here I am...at home with baby. Haven't we all been there, mamas?

Don't get me wrong. I do not resent my husband for having his "freedom" while I am "stuck" at home or with Braden most of the time. Especially in the beginning, it's what is meant to be, especially for an exclusively breastfed baby. What's the point in 2 parents being exhausted? I never saw any reason for Jay to be up with us in the middle of the night. Braden would always nurse and go right back to sleep. The odd time he'd think it was time to party, but then I'd just lay him on his play mat for however long it took, feed him again, and then he'd go back to sleep. If Braden had been colicky and fussy....I may have called on Jay the odd time to try and settle him, but such was not the case. Jay always slept the nights and as Braden got older and I pumped a bit, Jay would get Braden up in the morning sometimes, and I remember that was heaven. Jay had never really been around babies at all until we had Braden, so I imagine what must have been utter shock when one night when Braden was around 6 weeks old, having just finished yet another growth spurt, I - completely exhausted - gave him a 3 minute crash course on how to warm up a bottle of milk, test it on his inner wrist, and put it in Braden's mouth so that the vent of the nipple was upwards. See, Jay was to get up with Braden in the morning, and I was going to sleep in for the first time in 6 weeks! They both survived and lived to tell about it too!

But now, it's "pay back". This is the time when daddies all over the world really shine and come into their own - toddlerhood. Jay has always had a great bond with Braden, but now...they are closer than ever. And I? Am loving it! Jay plays with Braden all the time, takes him to the farm, takes him on little road trips for business...it's great! I don't think it's as scary for a dad taking a toddler out and about than it is a baby. When we were on vacation in BC, Jay took Braden on all the water slides the whole time we were there. He had to be with Braden the whole time, for obvious reasons, and at the end of the day I said to Jay, "thanks for being so good with Braden and having him all morning." Jay said to me, "I just hope you had an okay time just sitting around." Pssssshhhhh-ya I did! Haha it was glorious! I did go and take some pictures and videos and helped Braden get down the little slides at the top while Jay caught him in the water...but mostly, it was all Jay. They are so good together, and it's so nice to see. It will be particularly wonderful for Jay to take Braden as much as possible when Squishy first comes...I know Braden will have a wonderful harvest time with Jay riding the combine and it will give me some much needed time to myself nearing the end of this pregnancy.

So, while I have logged considerably less hours of sleep than Jay in the last 2.5 years, have gotten up in the middle of the night for almost all of Braden's little cries, now it's more shared parenting, and it makes me SO happy! Now I have the kind of Daddy Envy where I wish I could have spent time with Braden instead of working last evening! But Jay and I? We make a really awesome parenting team. He lets me sleep in when I've worked the night before, and we typically take turns getting up with Braden in the morning and letting the other sleep in. Jay does baths, I do bed time. It just works, and we work great together!

Why The Age Gap?

Well, a lot of people may question why we timed it to have our kids almost 3 years apart. Around the time that Squishy will be born, Braden will be just under 3 months away from turning 3. I think this age gap will be perfect, especially considering the fact that we don't know or not if we will add another one to the mix. And honestly, I'll be turning 30 next April, so I think I might want to wait the 3 years again to have another, if we do...I'll still be plenty young! Some people need to have their kids bing-bang-boom they just want to get all the diapers and little kid stuff done all at once and I think that's great. I know, myself, that I would not cope well with that! I'm not made to be a "2 under 2" or "3 under 3" kind of mom! I know I could do it if I had to...but I don't, so I'm not!

My two big goals before having Squishy were to get Braden in a toddler bed, so as to not have to buy another crib, and to have him potty trained so I could have (hopefully) 6 months of being a diaper-free home! Now, I can say with authority that Braden is 100% potty trained. I was nervous about our upcoming 8+ hour road trip to BC next week, and how we'd do with car seat naps and potty training...but in the last few weeks he has eased my anxiety (as he always does) and he tells us all the time "I need to go potty" when he has to pee when we're in the vehicle. He's only ever had 2 pee accidents in his car seat, and even the odd time when he naps, he wakes up dry. He can pee on the side of the road if we need, but he's also proven in the last week that he can hold his bladder for almost 1/2 hour until we can get home or to a place with an actual potty! Which comforts me more knowing that we have to drive Rogers Pass, down a mountain, where you pretty much can't pull over next week!

He's got the nap thing down, the odd time he takes a nap, that is! He had a 4 hour nap when we were camping and woke up dry! He often wakes up dry in the morning but we still put a diaper on as a back-up, just in case! I think if I was really strict with fluid restriction intake after supper he would probably wake up dry all the time, but I'll wait until he's a bit older...or, knowing him, he'll just do it with his ready.

The scoop on poop. I had been avoiding posting about this, so not to drive my readers crazy, though I did send out a few tweets of frustration the last few weeks. He has had poops in his potty since day 1. I kinda figured it was a fluke, but was also very happy that he did it so he would "know" that he could and that he should. BUT, over the last month and a half or so, he just could NOT get the poop on the potty thing down. I didn't know what to do. I tried increasing the fibre in his diet so he would have to go more regularly (he's been an every 2-3 day pooper for well over a year now) but that wasn't working. He would keep having tiny accidents in his underwear, but wouldn't "really" go. The morning we went to Hertiage Park, I knew he had to go, so I tried bribing him with the train ride - and it worked! He went all by himself in his little potty and I thought we hit a huge milestone. But even the next week after that, he would.not.do.it in the potty. Kept having small accidents in his underwear. So finally...I broke out the laxative. I'm not talking like "Ex-Lax" bowel-prep laxative, I'm talking a powder laxative that's meant to increase regularity. Again, the morning we were to go camping, I knew it was a poop day. We begged and pleaded and bribed that he could go camping and ride on the boat, but he had to poop in the potty. Poor kid, we all felt horrible...but eventually as Jay and I were packing up the trailer, he went to mom and told her he pooped on the potty - and he did! We tried making him sit for 20 minutes, watching Netflix on the iPad...nothing was working and eventually he just did it on his own. He was SO thrilled with the reward of going camping...that when we were camping he had 2 small poops in the trailer potty and he hasn't looked back since.

It was a very frustrating thing for all of us, but as with everything in his life, he just did it when he was ready. I wish I had magic cure I could tell you for getting your toddlers to poop on the potty, but as my friend with triplets a few months older than Braden said - it just takes a bit longer for some to be pooped trained and it will happen when it happens! It's one of the few things in their life they can control!

Another thing that I really like about this age gap, is that I don't have to run around the world getting Braden to school or sports. Braden won't be in play school until fall 2013 and he's not in any classes or lessons so we can just chill, commitment-free at home getting used to being a family of 4!

And here's a couple Flashback Friday pictures...because no post should go without a few pictures!

A Taste of 2 Kids

As I mentioned yesterday, I got to have Abby while Ben and Jess went back to Edmonton. Mom was there to help, so I put Braden to bed and she put Abby to bed. They both go down at about the same time. But I played with Abby before her bath time and then Braden and I gave her a bath. It's given me a little preview of what Braden will be like as a big brother, and I'm liking what I'm seeing. He just absolutely adores her, and she, him. Braden likes helping out with Abby more than I anticipated he would. He really wanted to have tub time with her, but I told him that he already had his bath and that it was her turn, then I asked if he wanted to help and he was all game for that!

There's definitely a lot for Braden to learn with his Big Brother training. How to be gentle and careful around a baby, not to slam doors, to try and whisper and speak quietly while babies are napping. BUT, I'm hoping that with the very forgiving newborn stage of infant sleep...our baby will learn to sleep with baby elephants running around the house (literally) and that he/she will be an excellent car seat sleeper! Braden was very patient and very good when Abby was fussing in her car seat on the ride home. We got to steal Jess & Abby for the whole week, as Ben is working in Calgary, by the way! Braden would say "it's okay, Baby Abby! It's okay!" And he'd pull on her car seat toy so it would play music for her.

I can't wait to see Braden as a Big Brother! I think he'll do really really well, and he's getting used to Mommy holding and playing with another baby. He's never been jealous or shown any separation anxiety with me...but clearly at the end of a long day...he does have his moments!

I took the two kiddos to town by myself the other day to give Jess some nap time, you should have seen the weird looks that I got being almost 25 weeks pregnant, carrying a 3 month old in a bucket car seat with a 2.5 year old at my side! Hehe, she's not mine! She's my brother's! But it's giving me confidence that yes, indeed, I will be able to be a mother of 2. Will it be easy, probably not, but I know I will be able to do it. No turning back now, anyway!

Potty Training Day #3

What a great day, day #3 was. I had my doubts in the mid-afternoon, but in true Braden fashion, he proved his mama wrong and that he handles pretty much everything like a champ. Here's a run down on day 3:

• 7:00 up for the day with Daddy, Mommy up shortly after
• 9:00 - 11:00 multiple "tell Mommy when you have to go pee!" and "are your underwear dry?" reminders and conversations...and a few "why hasn't he peed yet?" tweets from me.
• I have to break 2 rules today
• #1 I had long ago promised Laura I would pick Luke from play school and have him for an hour or two until she got back from her hair appointment (not supposed to leave the house)
• #2 We needed to leave our house to go to town shortly after 11:30, so at 11:20ish I had to say to him "you need to pee on the potty before we go get Luke". You're not supposed to remind them or tell them to "try", they need to learn to recognize the signs to go, BUT he did listen and went right before we left. 4.5 HOURS after he got up! And he had 2 little drinkable yogurts, 1.5 sippies of milk too! I had gone 5 times already!
• 12:15 the boys have lunch
• 1:00 I get Braden ready for his nap, and he's tired...but I kinda assume he won't settle as Luke is over and he's too excited
• 2:00 Laura & Luke go home and I get Braden up from his quiet time
• His diaper was very wet...so I told him that that's his "sleepy time bum" and if he needs to go potty when he's awake to please tell mommy
• I feared that this might be a big regression in training...but we had to see how the day would progress
• I pulled out the big guns and gave him a full cup of full strength apple juice to get the pee a flowing
• I did tell myself at this point that I wanted him STOP going to the BR simply because I was doing it. Any time he did go when I did, he decided on his own accord "I pee potty" but I didn't want him to associate going to the BR with someone else going too
• I wanted him to have some accidents so that his brain would recognize the signs and that he has to get to the potty before he has the accident
• 3:30 he has a teeny tiny accident, about the size of a golf ball on his undies, good thing I kept asking and checking if his underwear was dry! We ran to the potty, I told him "yucky! Your underwear are wet! You need to pee in the potty!" all the while being very positive and upbeat, and guided him to sit down and finish peeing. He immediately got up and ran to his closet to get new undies
• 3:45 another tiny accident, repeat above - would NOT sit down on the potty to finish
• 4:15 yet another tiny accident, but this time he shouts "Need new bum!" ran to the BR all by himself, I helped him get his underwear down, he sat down by himself and had a massive pee! YAY! It "clicked!" I don't know how he had those little dribble accidents, but it took 3 of those for it to click and he finally ran to the BR to finish the job!
• 6:00 I hear another "Need new bum!" as I'm looking at a recipe to cook for tomorrow so I ran behind him, got him on the potty, he looks down to see the results with the BIGGEST and proudest grin you've ever seen - Mommy! Look! I DID IT!
• 6:15 this time a very loud "Need new bum! Pee on potty!" I thought it was odd since he had just gone, but he loves his instant potty treats so I figured if he could squeeze out a few drops - good for him! But...he had a massive POOP on the potty all by himself! 
• Then right before bath he had another tiny poop by himself - yay!

I'm overjoyed that he recognizes the urge to pee and poop. I so feared that he would have major poop issues, but he proved mama wrong yet again. For now we are still using the little green Ikea potty, he really likes to see his results and dispose of the same in the big potty. He really knows the routine of dumping, flushing, washing hands with his special Elmo soap, drying his hands and then potty treats!

He got a BRAND NEW talking Gordon for the big poop on the potty!

I know he might have some regressions and that it's not all figured out yet, but I am so so so pleased with this 3 day potty training method recommended to me by Katie V & Frazzalicious, I am eternally grateful to you both! I will be doing a blog post more in depth on the method itself in the future!


My little sidekick for the last 2 days. He's been very snuggly and I can tell he appreciates all the 1 on 1 time with me. It's nice to be 100% dedicated to him for the last 2 days. No, or very little, house cleaning to worry about...and to tell you the truth he's not as whiny and annoying when I'm available to him! I know why, and I can't do this every day, but it's been really nice...he's just as sweet as apple pie!

An example of how sweet he is! About 30 minutes of staying in his bed and babbling to himself, I told him over the monitor he could go read his books now. He then turned on his lamp, grabbed a few books, climbed up in the rocking chair and read. The sweetest boy alive, I tell ya!

Thanks for following along on our journey, as always, this potty training adventure in particular!

Potty Training Day #2

Dearest friend Katie V forwarded me the 3 day method in a PDF file yesterday. It was super easy to read through, and asides from the nap and night training, I'm totally doing this. Following it to almost a tea. Here's our day in bullet form:

• 6:45 AM wake-up, Daddy gets Braden up and Braden is commando with jammie pants on
• 7:15 AM Mommy's out of bed and gets Braden in his underwear and jammie shirt stays on for the day
• I am 100% devoted to sticking to him like glue all day, so he's happy to snuggle on the couch, loving all the mommy attention (he usually plays in the AM by himself and watches shows while I do a few things)
• 8:45 AM after a Danino drinkable yogurt, 1 full sippy cup of milk, and about 50 million "Braden, tell Mommy when you have to go pee in the potty"'s and "Braden are your underwear dry? Good for you!"'s (very important element to the 3 day method) I pull out the big guns and give him 1/2 apple juice and 1/2 water to try to avoid yesterday's poosplosions
• 9:45 AM, 3 hours and a lot more "tell Mommy when you have to go" reminders still nothing
• Hawk-watching continues, he never leaves my side
• 10:25 AM still no pee - wow my child has remarkable bladder control! Reading books in his room, my pregnant self HAS to pee. Since, according to the method, I cannot take my eyes of my child, he comes into the BR with me, and on his own accord wants to "pee on potty". He happened to bring a book ("Are You My Mother?") with him. 
• 10:30 AM I am on the big potty, he's on his little green one, I read about 5 pages and he stops....looks down....and pees! YAY, BRADEN!
• He actually loved seeing his "results" in the little potty and really loved dumping said results in the toilet and flushing it away. Follow hand-washing, 2 potty treats, and time at the train table
• I gave him another glass of 1:1 apple juice:water, and was interested to see that now that the big morning pee was out of the way, what he would do.
• 11:45 I have to pee again, Braden did NOT want to come in the BR with me as I was watching him play outside on the deck. I told him "you don't have to sit on the potty unless you want to, but you have to stay with Mommy so I can pee!" Again, he says "pee on potty" and we repeat reading a bit and then him peeing again!
• 12:15 we eat some lunch and I am constantly reminding him to tell me if he has to go and praising him for having dry underwear. All.the.live.long.day!
• 12:30 watching the very end of a Thomas episode before nap time he suddenly looks up at me and says "need new bum!" I could see his light grey boxer briefs turning darker grey so "I said, let's go to the potty!" as we ran there.
• I sat him down on his little potty showed him that his underwear was not wet, not dry, and said "yucky! Your underwear is wet!" He took them to his hamper and then I let him run around just a little bit more before nap time, as I didn't want to associate accident = diaper
• 12:45 he's out cold. In the meantime I do some Pilates watching Ellen, have a much needed shower, even have time to give myself a mini-pedi minus the polish (yet!)
• 3:45 epic 3 hour toddler nap!!! This never happens! I guess potty training is wearing him out as much as it is me!! BUT, he wakes up in a flood...AGAIN. So frustrating and it makes him SO upset. He was drenched from diaper half way up his chest. I don't know how he slept through, it but it's like he's traumatized when he wakes up. He just would not pee, like have a really good pee before nap
• 5:15 he'd had a bit of water and another drinkable yogurt and so I had to pee (as per usual) I didn't say anything to him other than to come to the BR because I had to go potty, took off his underwear, he sat down for 2.5 seconds, left, turned off the light in the BR leaving me peeing in the dark! Told him to please come back and turn the light on, he did, sat down on the potty and peed! With the biggest grin on his face!
• 5:55 we did a "no no" of the 3 day training and left the house to go for supper at my in-laws. It was a quick supper and we were home by 6:30.
• 6:30 time for a bath, and he happily peed on the potty AGAIN (that's #4 if you've lost count!) and had his bath. 
• Lately he's liked to stall after bed time, but I figure I can use this to my advantage now. He DESPERATELY wanted another potty treat before bed, he was clean and naked, so he sat down to pee again. He grunted/strained for 15 seconds or so...nothing. Paced a bit, tried to convince me to give him a treat for trying, sits back down on the potty and has a fart...."good toot, Braden!".....has another, bigger fart...

He pooped on the potty!!! 

Oh we have both never been so happy to see poop in our life! I did not anticipate this happening on day 2, especially at the end of the day, but I am so happy and so proud of him! 

Thank you, thank you, thank you Katie V for sending me the 3 day method! I am 100% sold! He only had 1 accident, 4 pees, and 1 poop today! His accident wasn't even that big. Here are my thoughts about PT so far, things that will eventually have to change:

• all but the last time he peed, I also was peeing on the toilet beside him
• I read him a book 2 of the 4 times he peed....but I think he does need to sit and "think" about it a bit and won't pee the minute his butt hits the potty
• I LOVE how excited he is when he sees his results in the little potty - Mom, you were right!
• He loves calling Daddy to tell him how good he is doing!
• The trains are fun to play with, but he is LOVING the M&M/Smartie potty treats he gets immediately after he does his business
• I'm hoping in the next few days he'll just run to the potty or tell me that he needs to go, all on his own
• He asked on his own accord to watch "The Potty Movie" 4 times today. I can tell he's paying attention because in the movie the character Henry can put his own slippers on...so Braden took me to his closet and requested to wear his Thomas slippers...just like Henry! He also chose for me to read to him "The Potty Book" all by himself!

Thank you again for reading and for your kind words of encouragement!

Also, I just wanted to note that all of my trains for Braden as rewards are 50% off from mamabargains.com, up to 70% off from eBay, or ones that he already has but thinks are new because I took them away a month ago! So he's not reeeeeally a spoiled brat. For those non-Thomas mommies out there, brand new wooden trains in the store cost anywhere from $12-$30 depending on if you hit a sale!