I have had many a moments in my life as a mother where I've had Daddy Envy. Up at all hours of the night, nursing a brand new baby for like 45 minutes at a time, & so tired you can't remember if you've changed the diaper already...I often wondered why I had to be pregnant
and deliver this baby
and now I get to be sleepless and feed this baby all the time too? Countless outfit changes for mommy and baby alike because of spit ups and poo explosions, all while Daddy gets to sleep soundly and leave whenever he wants. Off to work he goes. Off to hockey he goes. And here I am...at home with baby. Haven't we all been there, mamas?
Don't get me wrong. I do
not resent my husband for having his "freedom" while I am "stuck" at home or with Braden most of the time. Especially in the beginning, it's what is meant to be, especially for an exclusively breastfed baby. What's the point in 2 parents being exhausted? I never saw any reason for Jay to be up with us in the middle of the night. Braden would always nurse and go right back to sleep. The odd time he'd think it was time to party, but then I'd just lay him on his play mat for however long it took, feed him again, and then he'd go back to sleep. If Braden had been colicky and fussy....I may have called on Jay the odd time to try and settle him, but such was not the case. Jay always slept the nights and as Braden got older and I pumped a bit, Jay would get Braden up in the morning sometimes, and I remember that was heaven. Jay had never
really been around babies at all until we had Braden, so I imagine what must have been utter shock when one night when Braden was around 6 weeks old, having just finished yet
another growth spurt, I - completely exhausted - gave him a 3 minute crash course on how to warm up a bottle of milk, test it on his inner wrist, and put it in Braden's mouth so that the vent of the nipple was upwards. See,
Jay was to get up with Braden in the morning, and
I was going to sleep in for the first time in 6 weeks! They both survived and lived to tell about it too!
But now, it's "pay back". This is the time when daddies all over the world
really shine and come into their own - toddlerhood. Jay has always had a great bond with Braden, but now...they are closer than ever. And I? Am loving it! Jay plays with Braden all the time, takes him to the farm, takes him on little road trips for business...it's great! I don't think it's as scary for a dad taking a toddler out and about than it is a baby. When we were on vacation in BC, Jay took Braden on all the water slides the whole time we were there. He had to be with Braden the whole time, for obvious reasons, and at the end of the day I said to Jay, "thanks for being so good with Braden and having him all morning." Jay said to me, "I just hope you had an okay time just sitting around." Pssssshhhhh-ya I did! Haha it was glorious! I did go and take some pictures and videos and helped Braden get down the little slides at the top while Jay caught him in the water...but mostly, it was all Jay. They are so good together, and it's so nice to see. It will be particularly wonderful for Jay to take Braden as much as possible when Squishy first comes...I know Braden will have a wonderful harvest time with Jay riding the combine and it will give me some much needed time to myself nearing the end of this pregnancy.
So, while I have logged considerably less hours of sleep than Jay in the last 2.5 years, have gotten up in the middle of the night for almost all of Braden's little cries, now it's more shared parenting, and it makes me SO happy! Now I have the kind of Daddy Envy where I wish I could have spent time with Braden instead of working last evening! But Jay and I? We make a really awesome parenting team. He lets me sleep in when I've worked the night before, and we typically take turns getting up with Braden in the morning and letting the other sleep in. Jay does baths, I do bed time. It just works, and we work great together!
