Sunday, August 26, 2012

On How Not To Be a Gossip Girl

Ever since Day #14 of the #SheReadsTruth study in Living the Surrendered life, I have been feeling convicted of falling into what seems to be the norm of gossiping and being negative.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
-- Ephesians 4:29
This scripture has been on my brain ever since I read it back in July. As part of the devotional, the author challenged us to go for ONE DAY without saying anything negative, rude, sarcastic, or hurtful to anyone OR about anyone, and at the end of the day, evaluate. Do you know how hard that is? Wow. I tried it once and just couldn't. I have since made a conscious effort to proverbially bite my tongue and have withheld saying a lot of things I would normally say or comment on. But people!

So why does it feel so good to "vent"? Part of me feels that saying certain things or "venting" to certain people that I can confide in and trust is a necessary part of my sanity. I should be just doing my venting to God, but sometimes I just need the support of my husband, mom, sister-in-law on certain things, you know?

I feel that our Proverbs study has really reiterated the gossip issues again with me, and it seems the answer is right in front of me again as I scan my journal for this post:
Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool.
-- Proverbs 10:18

By hating another person - you become a liar or a fool. If you slander and are wrong - you are a fool. Therefore, admit your hateful feelings to God and pray He changes your heart and help you to LOVE instead of HATE.
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
-- Proverbs 11:13

I need to focus more on being trustworthy and showing integrity. I believe I do hold these qualities but I need to practice them always and not fall into the gossip game. I often find this is hardest at work. I work with 100% female nurses and a mix of male and female physicians. Nurses love to gossip and vent about patients. I have been much better at work on not falling into the gossip, but it is a hard conversation to avoid and I'm not 100% there yet, by any means. A nice, long maternity leave should help though!
The gossip of bad people gets them in trouble; the conversation of good people keeps them out of it.
-- Proverbs 12:13 (MSG)

Insecure or uncertain people feel the need to prove themselves. If you can control your tongue, you can control the rest of your body! Think before you act and speak. My study bible says to spend time with people you want to be like...and I can't agree more. Evil people are like poison and their thoughts and words just make me sick.
A perverse man stirs up dissension, and gossip separates close friends.  
-- Proverbs 16:28
Evil people relish malicious conversation; the ears of liars itch for dirty gossip. 
-- Proverbs 17:4 (MSG)
Even a fool is wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.
-- Proverbs 17:28 

Gossip, gossip, gossip! See! It's all over Proverbs! How can it not be on my heart? But as my study bible states "It often takes the heat of trials for the Christian to be purified. Through trials God shows us what is in us and clears out anything that gets in the way of complete trust in Him. When tough times come your way, realize God wants us to use them to refine your faith and purify your heart. When we ridicule people....we ridicule God - He make them!"

"It is as hard not to listen to gossip, as it is to turn down delicious dessert. Just one taste of either creats a taste for more. RESIST THE RUMORS - DON'T BITE!" [also from my study bible].

Raechel put it really well on her Proverbs 17 post on the #SheReadsTruth website yesterday:
"Some of the people I respect the most are the ones who say the least. They're the ones who pause for a moment when you ask them a question before they respond."
Thanks again for following me on my journey! Have you joined this wonderful community? I'd love to read your stories!


  1. This is so great--I like that you made the distinction between hateful speech and just getting support from a friend or family member. I've never thought about it before, but we can totally ask people to pray for us or get their support or advice without saying negative or gossipy things about others. Thank you for sharing! So good to know I'm not the only one trying to overcome it :)

  2. Thanks for stopping by, Sarah! You're not alone! :)

  3. I enjoyed this post and it made me think about something from my church meeting today. You can't feel the Holy Spirit in your life if you are finding humor at another's expense. Laughter is a happy way to show love, but when you are mocking or teasing or doing something that Christ would not do, you can't be like Him. It was good for me to think about, and goes right along with not gossiping!

    1. I agree 100%, I like the part in my study bible that says "if you are making of of people, you are making fun of Christ".

  4. Speech has been my biggest lesson in Proverbs for sure. Thanks for sharing, meet me and my crew.

    1. I agree! It's been a huge lesson for me too, thanks for stopping by!


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