Discipline Your Children, God Wants You To!

Now what better reason could I give you than "God wants you to"!? On Wednesday I finished my 3rd bible study with the #SheReadsTruth community. I read the whole book of Proverbs, all 31 chapters - one chapter a day. I have learned more than a few valuable lessons from Proverbs, and yet again I find it changing me to my core, and I hope to re-read my journal and just let it sink in over and over again.

I have said it before, and I'll say it again - one of the things that scares the daylights out of me is raising Christian children. Maybe other Christian families don't give it another thought and just go about their ways raising their little believers...but for me, I've thought long and hard about it since I was pregnant with Braden. I think God was speaking to both me and Jay, when Braden was 6 months old, 1 week before we had him dedicated, He said we needed to dedicate ourselves to Him again. Jay was called to be baptized and I reaffirmed my faith, as I was baptized as an infant. Raising a child seems like a lot of pressure, but Proverbs has eased my anxieties and I think we're doing a pretty good job raising Braden. I want to share with you some of my favorite scriptures on parenting:

That one, right there...my favorite on parenting. It affirmed everything that I have been doing with Braden and I'm happy that I'm doing the right thing. My study bible goes on to say:

The greatest responsibility that God gives parents is the nurture and guidance of their children. Lack of discipline shows lack of concern for their character development. Without correction, children don't know right from wrong and don't have direction. Do not be afraid to discipline your children. It is an act of love. Encourage your children to seek God's wisdom above all else! The wisdom they learn must be taught - they don't just absorb it.

Can I get a "hallelujah"?! I am SUCH a firm believer that children do need our guidance. If we let our kids run the household...how will they ever learn? How will they ever fit in a structured environment like school and eventually work? I'm not Super Strict Mom, but I definitely have expectations of my 2.5 year old, and they started long before he was this age. And? He's turning out to be a very polite and well-mannered little boy. At the end of the day...he's still 2. He's still a toddler and there's no way I can expect perfection, but every week I see improvements in his listening and following direction. If he doesn't clean up his toys? I take them away for a day or two, I've only had to do this twice. If he doesn't listen after a few times of me asking, he gets a 2 minute time out and knows to say "sorry, Mommy" after and then we hug it out. He even has daily chores, which he loves doing.

I do not see chores as punishment, as some do, I believe they teach value and respecting property. Who liked chores growing up? Not me! But I dusted, I vacuumed, I cleaned up my room (this may have gone went wayward as a teenager, a bit!) but now? I appreciate those lessons my mom taught me and my grandma taught her. Now as an adult and the motherly head of my own household? I cherish and value my CLEAN home more than ever, and I have my mom to thank for that.

I also think it's extremely important, for my family, to have our kids sit through church service. At least for the first half when we are singing & praying before the sermon starts. This is discipline. This is structure. Is Braden perfect all the time? Heck no. I've had to leave church all together with him twice this year because he was an overtired mess who wasn't happy in the sanctuary or the play room and just wanted to run around like a Crazy Toddler while the pastor was preaching. BUT, we are trying to set the foundation for him.

Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death. (NIV)

Discipline your children while you still have a chance; indulging them destroys them. (MSG)

Proverbs 19:18

Point your kids in the right direction - when they're old they won't be lost!

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

 -- Proverbs 22:6

Parents should discern the individuality and special strengths God gives each one. We can better discern and develop the individual capabilities of each child by talking to others. Teach your children how to make decisions - then you don't have to watch every step they take. We then will know they will remain on the right path because they made the choice themselves - train them to choose the right way. [source]

I know there isn't a manual that comes with each individual child when they're born (though, how awesome would that be!?), but it's nice to have the Word to rely on and affirm to me that we're doing right by Braden...so far!

On How Not To Be a Gossip Girl

Ever since Day #14 of the #SheReadsTruth study in Living the Surrendered life, I have been feeling convicted of falling into what seems to be the norm of gossiping and being negative.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

-- Ephesians 4:29

[source]

This scripture has been on my brain ever since I read it back in July. As part of the devotional, the author challenged us to go for ONE DAY without saying anything negative, rude, sarcastic, or hurtful to anyone OR about anyone, and at the end of the day, evaluate. Do you know how hard that is? Wow. I tried it once and just couldn't. I have since made a conscious effort to proverbially bite my tongue and have withheld saying a lot of things I would normally say or comment on. But it.is.hard people!

So why does it feel so good to "vent"? Part of me feels that saying certain things or "venting" to certain people that I can confide in and trust is a necessary part of my sanity. I should be just doing my venting to God, but sometimes I just need the support of my husband, mom, sister-in-law on certain things, you know?

I feel that our Proverbs study has really reiterated the gossip issues again with me, and it seems the answer is right in front of me again as I scan my journal for this post:

Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool.

-- Proverbs 10:18

By hating another person - you become a liar or a fool. If you slander and are wrong - you are a fool. Therefore, admit your hateful feelings to God and pray He changes your heart and help you to LOVE instead of HATE.

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.

-- Proverbs 11:13

I need to focus more on being trustworthy and showing integrity. I believe I do hold these qualities but I need to practice them always and not fall into the gossip game. I often find this is hardest at work. I work with 100% female nurses and a mix of male and female physicians. Nurses love to gossip and vent about patients. I have been much better at work on not falling into the gossip, but it is a hard conversation to avoid and I'm not 100% there yet, by any means. A nice, long maternity leave should help though!

The gossip of bad people gets them in trouble; the conversation of good people keeps them out of it.

-- Proverbs 12:13 (MSG)

Insecure or uncertain people feel the need to prove themselves. If you can control your tongue, you can control the rest of your body! Think before you act and speak. My study bible says to spend time with people you want to be like...and I can't agree more. Evil people are like poison and their thoughts and words just make me sick.

A perverse man stirs up dissension, and gossip separates close friends.  

-- Proverbs 16:28

Evil people relish malicious conversation; the ears of liars itch for dirty gossip. 

-- Proverbs 17:4 (MSG)

Even a fool is wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

-- Proverbs 17:28 

Gossip, gossip, gossip! See! It's all over Proverbs! How can it not be on my heart? But as my study bible states "It often takes the heat of trials for the Christian to be purified. Through trials God shows us what is in us and clears out anything that gets in the way of complete trust in Him. When tough times come your way, realize God wants us to use them to refine your faith and purify your heart. When we ridicule people....we ridicule God - He make them!"

"It is as hard not to listen to gossip, as it is to turn down delicious dessert. Just one taste of either creats a taste for more. RESIST THE RUMORS - DON'T BITE!" [also from my study bible].

Raechel put it really well on her Proverbs 17 post on the #SheReadsTruth website yesterday:

"Some of the people I respect the most are the ones who say the least. They're the ones who pause for a moment when you ask them a question before they respond."

Thanks again for following me on my journey! Have you joined this wonderful community? I'd love to read your stories!

Proverbs are Good for My Whole Family

So the ladies at #SheReadsTruth put together their 4th (my 3rd) bible study. We got August long weekend off from studies, which was really nice, and then we started a 31 day plan of reading Proverbs together. It's been on my heart a lot that I need to read Proverbs, so this was just perfect!

So I learned me a little bit about Proverbs. Solomon wrote these proverbs so we would know how to live well and right and to understand what life means and where it's going. It is a manual for living, for learning what's right and just and fair. They give us a grasp on reality.

Where did I get those wise words from? I wish I could take credit for coming up with that, but my new best friend in my bible studies is my Life Application Study Bible NIV, Personal Size. I cannot remember who it was on my #SheReadsTruth journeys who recommended this to me, but I LOVE it and will use it for years and years to come! It really breaks things down in "simple" language and terms that are more understandable to me. It points things out in the Word that I may have skipped over. I highly recommend it!

So we start Proverbs 1 with this amazingly powerful scripture, verse 7:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

The first week of Proverbs I'm learning a lot about Godly Wisdom. I have often wondered to myself "how am I going to raise Christian children?" Seriously! Braden has wonderful role models all around him and I love love love the fellowship and community at our little church and I really do trust them in helping us raise our kids, "it takes a village", as they say. But in my study bible it says,

Children learn values, morals, and priorities by observing how their parents act and react everyday. Let them see your reverence for God.

Braden loves church. He did really well for a 2 year old in Sunday School, he loves his children's bible and even pointed out that "Noah's Ark" is his "favowit stowy" the other night which absolutely made my soul smile. A little more on parenting in Proverbs 4 from my study bible is:

One of the greatest responsibilities of parents is to encourage their children to become wise. Wisdom can be passed, but all wisdom comes from God. Learn from the Scriptures and then create a legacy of wisdom as you teach your own children. If you want wisdom - GO AFTER IT!

We are creating a legacy for our children. How awesome is that? And yet so scary at the same time! Then in Proverbs 6 it tells us that as children grow increasingly independent with their age - which is a good thing - as they become young adults is when they need our advice, our wisdom, the most. I'm so scared to have teenagers, let's not even go there quite yet!

So we're learning about wisdom and we're also learning a lot about temptation. The Word brings up the word "fool" a lot. I can't help but think of my dad. God is teaching me more and more everyday on how I can handle the situation with my dad. I feel that Satan is trying to drive a wedge, not only between me and my relationship with God, but also between my dad and all my family members. I am stronger, I will keep praying, and it's just not going to happen.

My son, pay close attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight, so that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. 

Proverbs 5:1-2 NIV

And in The Message: You will acquire a taste for good sense and what God tells you will keep you out of trouble. We need to concentrate on the desires that keep us on a straight path. Don't get sidetracked by people and detours that lead us to sin.

Do what I say and you will live well. My teaching is as precious as your eye sight - GUARD IT! Write it on the back of your hands; etch it in the chambers of your heart.

Proverbs 7:2-3 MSG

What scares me the most about my dad, is that without an aim in life or direction, an empty life is unstable, and vulnerable to many temptations. To combat temptation make sure your life is full of God's Word and wisdom! In spite of his anger and his seemingly doubtful attitude towards faith and Christianity, I know it is buried way down deep within him, so I have made it very clear that I will keep praying for him and that I will send him Scripture if God wills me to do so. I want him to know that through God there is always hope.

Yesterday in church I felt compelled to share my story again. The leader at the service wanted us to share encouragement or any stories from the summer. I bravely stood up in front of the congregation and told them, as I had before, that a long story short - my dad is an alcoholic. I told them about you, about the amazing #SheReadsTruth community that I have been involved in over the last 7 weeks. I said that my dad is spiraling downwards and is the worst he's ever been. It's scary for me and my family, he is being a bully and causing such hurt and pain among us. But my light is the relationship I've formed with my Heavenly Father. I've said it so many times that I need Him now more than ever when my dad isn't present in my life anymore. I'm so thankful that God has drawn me so close when my dad has pushed me so far away. I shared this to share how happy I was, in spite of all the crazy going on with my dad. I am truly thankful for everything that God has given me (1 Thessalonians 5:17). My amazing father-in-law, and a lot of other members of the church, came up and prayed over me. I felt so refreshed and could feel my anxieties being lifted from me. He also prayed for my dad and that he would turn to God.

The "funny" thing is, we had just gotten a voicemail from my dad that morning telling us "tell Sarah to send me all the Scripture she wants" in a mean, sarcastic kind of way. So when I feel compelled to, I certainly will. He called Jay 3 times when I was sharing my story and being prayed for. He cannot crush my spirit, God is making it stronger in me.

Thanks again, for reading...if you've managed to get to the end! :)

Keepin' It Real With #SheReadsTruth

Friends, this journey that I'm on...I need it. I can't put it any other way - I.need.this. In my life...right now.

A term I would never imagined I would think of using - estranged - now describes the relationship between me and my dad. I haven't seen him for almost 6 months and I'm at an unfortunate part for my own sanity that I can no longer even communicate with him. Text messages are blocked, emails are blocked, and I don't even have voicemail on my phone because I do not want to hear "it". He is sick, very sick mentally. It's at a point where no matter what I (or anyone else, for that matter) says or does, he will not listen and he does what he wants anyway. There comes a point where if you stick around, you end up hurting yourself and enabling the behavior.

I haven't done a #SheReadsTruth update in awhile. I could do a full-on post every day, but I am really enjoying this intimate relationship with God that I'm forming and I feel that so much of it is private. I finished the first "Living The Surrendered Life" study a couple of weeks ago, and dove right into the next 21 day "Prayer" study which is currently on day 19. I thought I'd share with you some highlights of my "Prayer" study and why I need this in my life right now.

As I said, my dad is ill. He has a disease. Not many people consider alcoholism to be a disease, but it is defined as one, and as an ER nurse I see it in my profession on a daily basis. He has said and done some very hurtful things to me and my family in the past week...perhaps some irreparable damage. One thing he texted to Jay that struck me to my core was "tell Sarah to pray all she wants." He knows I am a Christian and that my faith is growing. I've sent him scripture through the course of my involvement in his disease for the last 1.5 years. The last good talk I had with him was after I had read Romans 12:12. I told him he needed to be joyful in hope, patient in his suffering, and faithful in his prayer. Only God could help him, but he had to try and help himself too. I would email him certain scriptures I had come across over this study but wouldn't hear back. Until that text. Ouch. That was my first reaction - ouch. He's making fun of me? He doesn't believe in the power of prayer? I have spent the last 19 days learning about and appreciating prayer more than I ever thought I was capable of. I do my studies in the evening. Braden is asleep, it's quiet and calm and I can focus on Him. You know what the scripture was that night?

 

As I opened up my YouVersion Bible app (you need this app - seriously!) I had it set on The Message version of the bible, and I needed to read it in those words. PRAY ALL THE TIME! THIS IS THE WAY GOD WANTS ME TO LIVE! Wow. I smiled a big smile...then cried tears of joy and showed Jay my phone. "He can't bring me down with his words." I told Jay. "I'll never stop praying!" And I won't. I'll never stop praying for my dad. Jay told me that God tells us what we need to hear, when we need to hear it...boy was he ever right. Bless my husband!

I am still using my "Grateful" app. Not as faithfully as I should, I really need to remind myself to try and do it every night, because there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for at the end of every day, even if it's a bad day, there's always something! Many of the scriptures have a recurring theme of "cry out to the Lord". Let me tell you, I've been crying out and He is listening AND answering. When I first started this study I felt totally lost without the devotional. It was just scripture and I was left to my own devices as to what to make of it. As I chatted with some of the #SheReadsTruth ladies via the Instagram feed, I learned to look at different versions of the scripture - The Message, NIV, KJV, etc...and it's amazing how the same message can be conveyed so clearly in a different wording of it! I thought it would be over my head...me trying to interpret the Word all by my lonesome! But you know what? It's not intimidating anymore and I don't have to "cheat" and look what others are saying, though I still like to see how they interpret it too.

God spoke to me again this week, words that I needed to read. For my life and understanding about my dad right now. This was Saturday, Day 17's scripture:

Don't shoot off your mouth, or speak before you think. Don't be too quick to tell God what you think he wants to hear. God's in charge, not you -- the less you speak, the better. Overwork makes for restless sleep. Over talk shows you up as a fool. When you tell God you'll do something, do it -- now. God takes no pleasure in foolish gabble. Vow it, then do it. Far better not to vow in the first place than to vow and not pay up. Don't let your mouth make a total sinner of you. When called to account, you won't get by with "Sorry, I didn't mean it." Why risk provoking God to angry retaliation? But against all illusion and fantasy and empty talk, there's always this rock foundation: Fear God!

-- Ecclesiates 5:2-7 (MSG)

Don't run your mouth - the less you speak - the better. God is in charge - not you! Another big THANK YOU for having this study in my life. I don't think I could have found more perfect scripture if I tried. God is working wonders in my life, and that is why I am so at peace with my life. I'm not happy about the relationship my dad has created between us and the rest of our family, but it is out of my control, and knowing that it is in God's hands is pretty much the only thing getting me through it.

I have been reading my bible and doing devotionals for 40 days now. This something I've been striving for and felt that I have needed, and as I said when this started, it was an answer to my prayers!

Thank you for reading this, if you have. It's something I've been waiting for the right moment to share, and God is telling me that now is the time.

More #SheReadsTruth

With the supportive response I got from last week's #SheReadsTruth post, I really wanted to share with you more of my journey and what's happened the last week of my devotionals.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

-- Ezekiel 36:26

From the devotional:   
"We think we have some sort of 'divine' power to change a person. That if we do the right things or are nice enough that maybe someone will 'come to their senses' and change."
I had never read or heard of that verse before, but now it's one of my favorites. It comforts me beyond words, again in the situation with my dad. It just affirms to me that I cannot change anyone - I am no match for the pwoer of God. I do believe that He prompts me to speak the truth in someone's life...but this does not guarantee that it will change a person - as ONLY GOD CAN CHANGE A PERSON.

For those who love their sin - pray that they develop a hatred for it.
For those who have turned from their faith, pray for return to HIm.

I don't try to fix or change people anymore. I used to - guilty as charged. Over the recent year or so...I have lived this and pray this for many people around me. Now, I just pray. Pray to let their anger go away, their problems, their hatred, their addiction, their blame, their lies. Following that devotional, appropriately came this scripture:

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

-- 2 Corinthians 7:10

We're all sinners. We are still responsible for us - no matter who did what first. Like I said before, I'm very "new" to this. To get a better understanding of this I had to look up the definitions in the back of my bible and it really made more sense to me after:

• REPENTANCE - To turn away from sin; to be sorry for what one has doeneand to promise not to do it again.
• SALVATION - Deliverance from the guilt & power of sin. By his death and resurrection Jesus brings salvation to people who believe in him.

I know I've said it before, but - wow. Just wow. How do you even grasp that. I sure can't, not yet anyway. And more from 2 Corinthians:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

-- 2 Corinthians 5:17

"His mercies are new every morning. Repent your sin. Receive the forgiveness offered to you and proclaim God's faithfulness for the rest of your days."


As I read and studies the devotionals for days 9 & 10, I couldn't help but feel that God was speaking to me about my dad. I did share these scriptures with him and have no idea if he got them, but I felt that I had to send them his way just in case.


I could share so so so much more, but they're more intimate moments that I've had that are just for me. It's never to late to join #SheReadsTruth! I hope you do!

I've also linked this up with #SheShares a new link up and great way to connect with the ladies participating in #SheReadsTruth every Friday!