Tuesday's Child is Full of Grace

You've all heard the poem Monday's Child at some point in your life, right? Well, if not, or if it's been awhile, here's a reminder:

Monday's child is fair of face, 

Tuesday's child is full of grace, 

Wednesday's child is full of woe, 

Thursday's child has far to go, 

Friday's child is loving and giving, 

Saturday's child works hard for his living, 

And the child that is born on the Sabbath day 

Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

I don't know why, but when I was in labor that poem came into my head, knowing that Ethan was going to be a Tuesday's child. The topic of grace had been on my mind and I feel like it was the theme for Ethan's birthday: grace.

Grace - an undeserved favor or gift; the undeserved forgiveness, kindness and mercy that God gives us (NIV).

The miracle of making, growing, and giving birth to a baby will always blow my mind. It truly does feel like an "undeserved gift" from God. I'm so blessed that He chose me to be Braden & Ethan's mother.

When I went into labor on October 16th in the middle of the night...the roads were clear. The weather was perfect...by the grace of God.

When I went into labor, my in-laws were out of province (they were going to take care of Braden for us), but my own mother was already here, ready to take care of Braden...by the grace of God.

My mom had a prior commitment on Ethan's birthday that was cancelled...by the grace of God.

My friend Samantha was able to come and be a support and document Ethan's birth for us with amazing pictures in the middle of the night...by the grace of God. 

When my goal of delivering Ethan naturally again was in doubt, I went from 6 cm to birth in 1/2 an hour...by the grace of God.

When the anesthetist was drawing up the medication for my spinal, I suddenly felt the urge to push, thus fulfilling my desires and hopes to give birth naturally...by the grace of God.

This was God's plan for us all along. I've learned over the last 6 months to fully trust in His plan for me. I may not understand it, or like it, but in the end I know it's what's best. Especially since Ethan's birth, winter has come full force and the roads have been absolutely awful at times.

I may not have had the car seat installed, my vehicle cleaned out, and a heck of a lot more on my to do list done...but I wouldn't rather have it any other way!

Welcome to the World, Ethan Thomas Schultz!

And what a welcome it was! I firstly have to start out by saying that I should be 38 weeks 4 days pregnant today, but Ethan decided to shock and surprise us all with an early arrival at 37 weeks 4 days gestation. The story goes a little bit like this...

Jay and I had been out in the city all afternoon on Monday October 15. We had to go to do some shopping and had a lunch date at Olive Garden. As we were devouring the deliciousness that is Olive Garden salad and breadsticks, I turned on one of my pregnancy apps and started, for the first time ever in this pregnancy, timing contractions. Hmmm.... I thought to myself.... this is weird and interesting! You see, with Braden...I never had "false labor" of any kind. Once my contractions started, though irregular, they gradually built up into the real deal. Jay could see the look on my face and asked me what was going on.

"Oh, just timing some contractions...that's all."

[Insert panicked look of husband here]


I told him I wasn't sure if they meant anything, but they definitely were "there" and they definitely were not Braxton-Hicks contractions, which I've been getting since 17 weeks. As we left lunch, Jay asked if I was sure we should be going shopping. YES! I said...I had to get things done! Funny enough, as we were walking through the mall, the contractions stopped. Usually if its the real deal, they pick up with walking...so I thought I was in the clear. Mind you, I texted Laura and told her that if I wanted to have a baby right now, I'm pretty sure I could get labor going with some vigorous walking - ha!

On the 1 hour drive home, the contractions picked up again and I started timing again. Anywhere fromm 2-12 minutes apart lasting 30-60 seconds. Nothing I couldn't cope with.

By the time we got home and unloaded the things we bought shopping, nothing was happening. We had supper, I watched Dancing With The Stars with my mom, who was here as back-up babysitter for Braden, should anything happen as my in-laws were out of province, and went to bed. False labor, round 1....or so I thought!

At 12:30 AM I was woken from a dead sleep and thought I had reached an all time pregnancy low. I woke up because my underwear was soaked. Great! I thought. I couldn't even make it to the toilet - I've peed myself. So what do I do? I text my SIL Laura.

I sat on the pot for 10 minutes in a sleepy haze trying to figure out if my water really had broke. That MUST be the cause for all the wetness...I seriously did NOT pee myself...did I?

I went quietly through our bedroom, so as to not wake Jay to get new undies. I sat back on the pot and more liquid was there...Yup. Water...consider it broked! I put a big mama pad on (ladies, you know what I'm talking about)...and I went into the kitchen and called the hospital.

I wasn't having any contractions or anything, and part of me really just wanted to go back to bed and try to rest! BUT the other part of me knew that last time my water was broken for me...I had Braden 2 hours later. The nurse told me to come right away...so I woke Jay up, told him my water broke, and he shot up from a dead sleep like a canon!

I went downstairs to wake up my mom and she couldn't believe it either! We had our bags packed...but we were still scrambling around to make sure we had everything. I'm a VERY Type A/organized person...and I had SO much on my to do list in my 37th week, I thought I'd be laughing....yeah, notsomuch!

So I went into my big boy's room, kissed his sweet cheek one last time as my only child, felt my eyes tear up...and we headed to the 45 minute drive to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital at 2:00, I give my pee sample and my story thus far to the nurses and I'm hooked up to the fetal monitor for 1/2 hour or so. The monitor is showing exactly what I'm feeling. Contractions, about 3 minutes apart and lasting about 30 seconds. Sounds scary, right? Well...they weren't "the" contractions...if you've been in labor before, you know what I mean...but I was hopeful that things would pick up and that this baby would be born in no time!

I had texted my friend Sam, our photographer, once I knew it was the real deal...that she could come any time! The nurses checked me and said I was a 4-5 cm! I was thrilled!

Sam arrived around 3:30 and it was so lovely to have her there. It gave me a huge distraction and allowed Jay to have a bit of sleep, since I knew I wouldn't be able to. With Braden's labor I was in bed, on my back the whole time and I did NOT want to do that again. I was up, walking around and things felt great. Sam actually had her pedometer app on and we walked almost 3 km!

I had lost my mucous plug and had my bloody show around 4:30, which were good signs that things were going to get going.

Contractions were starting to pick up around 5:30 AM. I knew the nurses were going to check me at 6:00 and I was so anxious to see the progress I was making. Contractions were about 2.5 minutes apart and getting stronger...I was at the point where I couldn't talk through them, I had to focus and breathe through them. I pictured Braden sleeping peacefully - the last image I would see of him as my only child - and it really helped me relax and get through those contractions.

The nurses came shortly after 6:00 and said Dr. Maseka would be in soon and he would check me. He came around 6:30, checked me...and told me I was 4 cm. WHAT?! SERIOUSLY? I thought I was 4-5 when I got there! 4.5 hours later and NO progress? I was so frustrated and defeated. I felt like all my walking, relaxing, breathing, contracting...was all for nothing.

You see, with Braden...I was on about the same timeline. Got to the hospital at 2:00 AM, Dr. checked me at 6:00 and I was 6 cm, broke my water, and I had him just before 8:00. I was expecting that this would go faster and felt so deflated that I definitely was NOT having this baby before 8:00 AM.

But, with Braden...the contractions were strong and uncomfortable from about 4:00 AM until he was born at 8:00 AM. My contractions weren't that uncomfortable yet.

I got pissed off, rolled over in bed and even fell asleep briefly. My contractions slowed down to about 5 minutes apart and I could almost sleep through them...but then one woke me up.

At 8:30 I was texting my mom and nothing was happening. I decided to go for another walk with Jay and Sam and had 3 pretty big contractions that stopped me in my tracks, so I decided it was time to go back and stay in my room.

The final weigh in!

At about 9:00 I sent Sam out as I was starting to get really cranky. NOT at her, she was a saint...but I could just feel myself getting really ticked off that I didn't have this baby yet and contractions were starting to really pick up in intensity and frequency...and I didn't want my friend to see me in such a state!
At 9:15 I was starting to lose control of myself. I started to get really anxious and even feel panicked. Why didn't I have this baby yet?! I had Braden by now! What's wrong with me? WHY!? I asked the nurse to check me because I REALLY needed to see where I was and if I was making progress.

6 cm.

SIX?! Only a six?!
I seriously wanted to throw in the towel.
I want to go home.
I want to be in my cozy bed.
I want to go back to sleep.
I want to have this baby in 17 more days like I was supposed to.

It was just me and Jay and the contractions were really picking up. Stronger by the second and no position I was in was working for relief. I confided in my husband, my best friend - I don't think I can do this naturally this time! I know I'll regret it if I don't but this is SO different I don't think I can take it anymore!!

Jay was wonderful. He told me he knew I didn't want to use drugs again. He thought I might regret it if I did, BUT, that I needed to do what I had to do, and there was no shame in that.


At 9:30 my beautiful, sweet nurse Amanda came in and I talked to her. She was a student when I worked there 3 years ago and I couldn't believe what an outstanding labor & delivery nurse she had become. (I'm tearing up just thinking about her right now...) I told her to give it to me straight - was fentanyl REALLY worth trying? It's a narcotic, I was in the right time in my labor to have it...but I still didn't think I wanted it. She told me it would take the edge off. As a nurse, I know fentanyl is very short acting and I decided not to have any as I didn't think it would work at all, especially with how these contractions were feeling.
I then said the "e" word that was not supposed to be in my L&D vocabulary.

Epidural.

Teach me about it, Amanda...give it to me straight. Will this halt my labor? Will it really work? HELP! She said at this point in my labor, no - it would not slow it down. It would help me to relax, take away the pain, and let the contractions do their job - to dilate my cervix and move this baby down for birth.

She left the room and told me to let her know what my decision was. I looked at the clock and thought I would give it until 10:00 and then opt for the epidural if nothing was happening.

At 9:40 I had another heart-to-heart with Jay about how confused I was. I think in this time frame I also tried to call my mom, but was rendered helpless as I could not speak through my contractions. I was frustrated and I felt like a failure. I was disappointed in myself that this baby might not be born naturally and drug-free like it's big brother was and that I was depriving myself of that feeling of accomplishment I had when I delivered Braden drug-free and naturally.

I looked my husband in the eye shortly after 9:40 and told him "I can't do it this time! It's so different than with Braden! These contractions are just too much!" 

So Jay went to get Amanda and tell her I needed the epidural. It just so happened Dr. Maseka was in the hospital as he wanted to check me before 10:00.


It was 9:45 and I told him I couldn't take it anymore. He checked me and I was now at 8 cm. This, my friends...is the joyous effing horrible stage of labor known as "transition" stage. As I was looking at info on transition just now, I saw this on BabyCentre and this is EXACTLY how I felt:

If you're laboring without an epidural, this is when you may begin to lose faith in your ability to handle the pain, so you'll need lots of extra encouragement and support from those around you. [source]

I could tell what my doctor was thinking, but Prase Him that he didn't say anything. My sweet, wonderful doctor was likely thinking - you're so close! There's no time for an epidural, it's almost time to push!

But all I could think was to compare to what I knew - when I was an 8 cm with Braden it took me two hours to get to 10 cm and push & deliver. I.could.NOT wait another 2 hours. I just knew what I was capable of and two hours of intense contractions, way stronger than I remember with Braden, was not something I felt capable of.

It just so happened the anesthetist was in the building (small town hospital - a rare occurrence!) so Dr. Maseka went to grab him. My IV was started and Dr. Maseka said the anesthetist was going to just do a spinal shot vs an epidural because it was "going to happen fast".

At 10:00 just as they were setting up for my spinal...I looked at Amanda and said - "I HAVE TO PUSH - NOW!!!"

She looked at Dr. Maseka, who quickly glanced below, and Amanda gave me the thumbs up to start pushing.

Two more nurses came in the room, there was lots of scrambling - though they had been set up ever since I was admitted as they thought I might go fast - and they quickly transformed my bed for delivery.

Between contractions I somehow got my legs in the stirrups and my bum as low as I could.

Last time I was told NOT to push. This time I had no coaching and just started. I pushed with my contractions...I think it was about 5 pushes...they told me to slow down...stop....just push a little.

Less than 5 minutes of pushing...and - IT'S A BOY!!! - Ethan Thomas Schultz was born at 10:16 AM.

That. Happened. FASSSSSSST!

I guess with Braden it was a gradual, but still fast, labor...with Ethan it was quite slow at the beginning and an absolute sprint to the finish. When I analyze (because that's what I do!) the two labors, Braden's was about 6 hours of active labor with 4 of painful contractions gradually increasing in intensity. Ethan's was also about 6 hours of active labor but with "only" 1.5 hours of very intense, painful contractions.

The transition stage happened gradually with Braden but was a total sprint with Ethan. What a difference!

By the grace of God (more on this later), our 2nd baby boy was also born naturally and med-free. I did not tear, had a normal amount of blood loss, and our boy was perfect and healthy with APGARS of 9 and 9.

And with Jay declining for the 2nd time...mama cut the umbilical cord again!


I guess technically I did have drugs during labor. The third stage of labor is the delivery of the placenta. Last time it just slid right out. This time...not so much.

With the story of one of my best friends having to be sedated to manually have her placenta removed, I wondered what was wrong with me and hoping I wouldn't have to have the same happen. Why wasn't it just coming out? The sensation of the cord on my lady parts was absolutely spine tinglingly painful. Seriously - it was SO sensitive down there I could not stop my legs from shaking and he was pushing down on my uterus to help contract. He told the nurse to give me some fentanyl because the sensation (not the pain - but the sensation) was just unbelievable! I didn't object because I was elated with adrenaline from just giving birth and marveling at our new baby boy lying calmly on my stomach.

Honestly though, I couldn't feel the fentanyl and believe it didn't work anyway. Luckily after a few minutes my placenta was safely delivered and I could get my legs out of the darn stirrups and have a bit of my dignity back!

Ethan just contently laid on my chest the whole time. Wide awake and alert. I've never heard of a baby being so calm after delivery. I just kept saying over and over "You're here! You're here! Look at you! You're a boy!"

I LOVE this picture of Ethan. He's had his hands up in his face since the moment he was born - literally!

THAT. That makes it worth it. Oh it was so worth it. However, I did also say, shortly after he was born: "Jay, we're NOT having 3 kids!" Of course one never knows, but that's how I felt after I just delivered Braden too! I also said "Laura is going to be SO happy!" because although she thought it was a girl...she was also not-so-secretly rooting for me to have a boy so that ALL our boys could grow up together. What a special, special thing! Blake and Ethan are only 10 weeks apart - to the day!

I know this was long. But I wanted to remember every single detail that I could so I can look back on this wonderful birth story and relive it many, many times! Thank you, thank you, THANK you, Samantha for being part of Ethan's birthday and capturing these precious memories on camera for us to cherish for years!

Fear of the Known

Did you belly ever go lopsided like this!?

Don't worry, you read that right. It's not fear of the "unknown", it's fear of the known. Well, a lot of it is known from my first and only experience, but of course most of it still is unknown. What am I talking about? Labor and delivery. I know I have 7 or so weeks to go, but believe me, it's been in the forefront of my brain pretty much ever since I gave birth to Braden. Yup. My labor with him (read below) was pretty fast so I've always thought...what will happen with my subsequent children!? Not to brag, but I think this body was made to have babies. I don't know if it's my height (6'1"), my body structure, my pelvic cavity, just the way I'm built...but whatever it is I think I'm built for growing babies and birthing them! I think back in "the day" I could easily pop out multiple children like they all did. Or, in modern day, I'd make a darn good, albeit tall, Hutterite!

Let me just give you the shortened version of Braden's birth story and why I am a little concerned for what this labor and delivery might be like:

• 3 days overdue
• 2PM pregnancy massage
• 5PM Chinese food supper
• 5:30PM irregular contractions begin  7-12 minutes apart
• 6PM start losing mucous plug
• contractions get a bit closer as the evening goes on, but nothing painful yet
• 11PM try to go to bed
• 11:30 PM call hospital with regular contractions 5 minutes apart lasting about 30 seconds, they say wait until they're 4 minutes apart and come
• 12AM decide to have a shower and head to hospital
• 2AM arrive at hospital admitted and I'm 3 cm & 50% effaced - I mark this as the start of my official labor as contractions were regular at 4 mins and getting uncomfortable/painful
• 5:30AM labor continues, nurse checks me and I'm 8 cm
• 6AM doctor comes in to break my water and says I'll have the baby within 2 hours
• 20 minutes of pushing....
• 7:59AM Braden is born
• no tears, no problems! (Note: that's as in delivery "down there" tears...not tears from your eyes...there were plenty of happy tears!)

So if you can do simple math, that's just a minute shy of a 6 hour active labor...for my first! If what "they" say is true and your subsequent children are born faster, I fear of making it to the hospital on time! We live 45 minutes away, so this time I think I'll be heading to the hospital as soon as I know I'm having regular contractions and am in labor. I never had false labor with Braden, once the irregular contractions started, they never fizzled out and just became regular and turned into labor!

I think my body is already telling me this might be fast. My hips/pelvis started to spread weeks ago, and I can't imagine what it's going to feel like when this baby actually drops! Braden was a nice 7 lbs 11 oz and I didn't tear at all (by the grace of God, clearly...I don't know how that's physically possible!) and I'm thinking this baby will be about the same size, maybe a tad smaller even? Plus, my body has done this already. It knows, it remembers.

Mind you, I have read many a birth story that the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. labor and delivery was the longest lasting over 18 hours, etc! So only God knows. I do trust Him that he will take care of us and ensure our health & safety...it's all I can do. This gives me peace...at least to some degree! Plus, then there's remembering the pain of it all. I did it natural and med-free, so that's obviously my goal again. It wasn't easy, but it was doable.

And then I realized this today:

I'm not panicking about the arrival of the baby, moreso that NOTHING is ready and it's NOT my fault. Type A. Mild OCD...that's me! The nursery would be done. The itty bitty newborn clothes would be washed, as well as the itty bitty cloth diapers...but I have nowhere to put it. You can read why here. BUT my carpenter did come yesterday and is supposed to actually start the WORK tomorrow. Pray for us!

And here's a little update on the bebe, we hadn't had an appointment for 5 weeks, I got pushed back...oh well! We had the appointment on Monday:

• My BP 96/64 - normal for me and so thankful it's not high!
• My heartrate 68, totally forgot to ask what Squishy's was...but it was there, that's all that matters
• Measuring 29 cm, so about 3 weeks behind. Was always 1-2 weeks behind with Braden too.
• Squishy is HEAD DOWN! Heck yes! So happy about this, I was almost certain s/he was transverse!

I also saw the chiropractor and I REALLY needed it, 5 weeks was way too long in between appointments. Discussed with him about bringing Squishy in upon discharge from the hospital, if born during the week, and he was happy to be able to squeeze us in if it works out that way. We took Braden at 2 weeks and 6 weeks and it did WONDERS for him.

Appointments go to every 2 weeks now! Also, how adorable is Braden? We love our Dr. Maseka - he is so wonderful with kids, Braden wanted to have his tummy checked too and said "fank you, Dr. 'seka!" when he was all done! ::heart melted::

I'm 33 weeks tomorrow! The odd weeks never seem as celebratory as the even weeks...just me!? Anyways, we're off to a wedding for a couple of nights so unless I get a post scheduled for the weekend, it'll be a bit quiet around these parts. Have a wonderful weekend!