Thursday, August 18, 2011

Trying Times

Not everything in life is rosy, so why paint it that way? I like it when people are real, and everything I write here is. If I've made it seem like Braden's the perfect baby, or that I'm the perfect mommy/wife/person, or that we have the perfect life...I assure you that he isn't, I'm not, and we don't - to certain degrees! I'm only human. Braden has always been an amazing baby. He was content and happy from day 1. We didn't suffer through colic, he nursed like a champ, he took solids like a champ and ate everything we gave him, and he's slept perfectly, minus the blurps we've had, but sleep training has fixed that. I would like to think that I'm a pretty decent (or better!) person and that I treat people the way that I want to be treated. I've recently been going to meetings, and for my own privacy and others' I'll just refer to it as "my meetings", and it's really helped me to realize that I and the only one in charge of how I feel and that no one can make be feel any differently about myself, it's only if I let them.

But with a toddler....

It's different!

Back to the title - trying times. I don't know if it's the insane amount of hours I've been working lately, mostly nights at that which makes just about anyone a zombie unless you're used to it...or what it is, but I've been getting so flustered, frustrated, and at times impatient with Braden. I don't want to feel this way. He is still, for the most part, his usual happy, content self...but the whining has started. Part, or all of this, is related to his age and lack of communication that makes him this way, and I know this. He'll whine "uhhhh! Uhhhhh!!!!" when he wants something, and to his credit - he has gotten much better about saying "up" or "nummy" when he knows what he wants...but I think it's just really frustrating for all of us when we have no idea what he wants.

The fourth molar popped through well over a week ago, so I feel like I can't blame it on teething anymore?? He does have 5 teeth left to cut and the drool and fingers in mouth are still present...but teething has never really gotten him down, other than he doesn't eat as much as he usually does. (*Update*) BUT, as a fellow mommy blogger and due date friend Katie so kindly asked in her comments...4 of those teeth are eye teeth and they were really painful for her triplets (yes, triplets) who are 2 months older than Braden.


God help me. I can deal with the whining, as I said it's improving and I know it's an age/communication thing, but with eating problems, I've seen it happen with all the kids around me, at some point in their lives. All of my nieces and my nephew have all struggled/fought/refused whatever word you want to pick or was appropriate at the time, eating their food. "Well", I thought, "That would never happen to my Braden, no way, no how! He LOVES his food!" Psssh. He's only refused to eat salmon and pickles. The only two foods he doesn't care for. Until recently. Meals that he's eaten in a variety of consistencies as he's gotten older since he was 7-8 months old, he refuses now. He pushes away the utensil and says "done!" He says "done" even before he's had his first bite of food sometimes! He's always loved my meatloaf, my BBQ'd ribs...but not this week. He wouldn't even try a bite. I grew up with a picky-eater brother and Jay was a picky-eater as a child and I will NOT become a short order chef making grilled cheese, Kraft Dinner, hot dogs, or peanut butter sandwiches every meal!


Braden has gone through phases like this in the past where he hardly eats a thing and then within a few days it's like he'll make up for lost time and wolf down EVERYTHING in sight. Two bowls of oatmeal, a banana, and yogurt for breakfast for my little barely 25 pounder! Now he's eating a forced highly encouraged bowl of oatmeal in the breakfast if we're lucky. He's not picky yet, cuz he's not even eating much of his favorite foods.

Another trying situation right now is that he's in to everything. He would go through phases where he'd pull everything out of the kitchen drawers and then not even touch a drawer for days or a week. But now he is the definition of a toddler tornado destroying making a mess everywhere he goes. I've decided in the upcoming weeks that I will baby proof as much as I possibly can, for my own sanity. I don't want to be the "naggy" mom that I feel myself becoming by constantly saying "no, Braden!" He's already repeating "no, no, no, no, no!" when he knows he's not supposed to be doing something. Plus I am so over putting the colander back into it's drawer, closing the lazy Susan and replacing it's contents, and picking up the multiple hoards of toys we own. A lot of people might say, who cares if my house is a mess, they're only this age once...but I do care. It's in my core to care what my home looks like and I can't just let it slip because Braden is a toddler. I hope to have at least one toddler in my home for many years to come! :) So my question...

How do you, or can you even, discipline at this age?  
(almost 19 months)

I'm leaning towards the notion that you just can't. I've yelled at him. Mommy fail. It doesn't work, he couldn't care less. When I've caught him splashing in the toilet for the 4th time that day and I stomp my feet and say "NO, BRADEN" very sternly, he just looks up and smiles. He got a reaction from mommy, and even if it was negative, it's probably all that he wanted. I've taken a page from my sleep training book and have tried quietly taking his hand and lead him away from the situation without saying a word. That doesn't work. Sigh. Just a phase?? Too early for time outs? I really don't think he'd understand it yet. I don't want to "go there" if it's a touchy subject for you, but I will never spank or hit my child, so that's not an option for us either.

Here is where I ask for your advice, suggestions, and comments. I just ask that you please keep it positive and encouraging! 

Here's just a pic I've used before of my sweet, little, goofball...the little love of my life, just as a reminder of how sweet he is and not this problem child you might be thinking he is!
P.S. Don't you dare Please refrain from calling my sweetheart "terrible", as in "oh, looks like the terrible 2's are coming early!" I've heard it already, and I truly don't think that Braden is rebelling or being a "terrible" child. I just want to try to help him and us out and to learn from your experiences. I just love him so much and he deserves to have the best mommy that I can be to him, not the frustrating nag that I know I can be at times. Thanks in advance.


  1. I promise it gets better. I could go back in my blog posts a few months back & find some similar stuff. Increased vocab helps the most. That, as you know just takes time.

    I found that my kids' eye teeth have been the absolute worst. 100 times worse than molars. Teething didn't bother us much either, but eye teeth did. Does he have those yet to get? Before each one of Livi's popped through, she literally ate nothing for a whole week. Then one day it would be through & she would eat like a horse for 2 straight days. Even piggo Hayden didn't eat for a few days before cutting each one. And he eats everything. He's a 30lb 21 month preemie! Could be that?

    I have taken to doing 1 meal of "what the kids like" Mac n' cheese, pizza, or whatever "junk" is their fave. Usually lunch. Then the other meal, either they eat or they don't. Somedays they eat, somedays they go to bed seemingly eating nothing but a banana & handful of peas for the whole day. But they are still growing. My kids are big breakfast eaters, so we try to always make that meal count. Eggs, almost always eggs. Fruit. Its just a phase kids go through, its the only way they can claim independence. Just keep offering.

    Around 18-19 months we started time outs. And today (21 months actual, 19 months corrected) they understand perfectly. Infact sometimes I can threaten... "do you want to sit in a time out?" they shake their head no..."then you better get down" and they do. They often sit & cry for their 1 minute. And Hayden as trouble sitting in his spot. But just the seperation from the situation helps & in 1 minute their mind clears & we start on a clean slate. It works for us. We hug & kiss afterwards & go about our merry way. (Though sometimes its hard for me to just let it be & not feel like I have to harp on them about what they did wrong) Things like hitting we do have a brief "discussion" about we do not hit, that is why you had to sit in a timeout, bla bla. Its really more of a cool down period for both child & mama than a punishment per say. No harm in giving it a try & see how he takes it?

    Good Luck!!

  2. I just had to go back & look...

    Our 1st time out:

    Paragraph about becoming picky eaters:

  3. Thanks for commenting, Katie...I was hoping you would! I remember reading those exact posts and was wondering how the kiddos were doing so I'm glad to hear that! Braden has NO eye teeth yet. He needs all 4 and one more on the bottom and then we're done. So maybe it's the eye teeth that are driving him crazy? I sure can't see anything...but as my wise Momsie said to me tonight, he only acts like this if there's something really wrong or he's not feeling well. It's just never lasted so long which was why it was really puzzling to me. I think I might try a time out, see how he won't hurt anyway!

  4. i also remember seeing, at that time my neices, being horrible at meal times & not eating. i also thought "that'll NEVER happen with my Lukey, hey always eats everything and anything". ya... not so much:) i think it's great to baby proof, it's either that or be frustrated and yelling ALL the time. when they can't get into it, they just happily move on to something else. i think the best thing you can do when he starts doing stuff he shouldn't is use the art of distraction. he's too young to 'discipline' right now (i think), so why put both of you through it. i remember about 18 - 20 months was the point that Lukey turned from my sweet angel to at times a little monster!

  5. Two words. BABY PROOFING! Your life will be SO MUCH EASIER if he can't even get into the drawers or open the toilet lid. There will be nothing to get into that he shouldn't. There will be no temptation because it is no longer an option. You'll be able to sit and relax for a second knowing he can't get into anything he shouldn't. :) It's a pain to install it all, but once you do, you can actually take a moment and focus on more important things! Especially considering how busy you are these days.

    And BTW, I ask the same questions too about punishment.


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